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Struggling with decisions
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 706762" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I wanted to say one more thing: As mothers we feel responsible. This is the hook. When I re-read your post it came to me that this is the problem: You feel responsible because YOU MUST FEEL THAT THE COURT DID NOT TAKE ADEQUATE RESONSIBILITY TO HELP HER.</p><p></p><p>And you feel the pressure to step in, at the same time YOU KNOW that you should not and can not.</p><p></p><p>Implicitly you are still feeling the need to take responsibility for her--that she keeps out of trouble, that she changes, when in reality it is SHE who must do so. And she must of necessity struggle and keep struggling until, and suffer--until she learns. Some people never do.</p><p></p><p>How handy to spew at you the words THAT YOU FAILED HER. Give me a break.</p><p></p><p>Honestly, I would cut that off NOW. All of that is a siren song that will keep her believing that any agency in her life, WILL COME FROM OTHERS NOT HER. When the exact opposite is true. She will change herself. Only her.</p><p></p><p>That is why I would forget about how the Court dropped the ball. There is no external thing that will help them until they decide to help themselves.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 706762, member: 18958"] I wanted to say one more thing: As mothers we feel responsible. This is the hook. When I re-read your post it came to me that this is the problem: You feel responsible because YOU MUST FEEL THAT THE COURT DID NOT TAKE ADEQUATE RESONSIBILITY TO HELP HER. And you feel the pressure to step in, at the same time YOU KNOW that you should not and can not. Implicitly you are still feeling the need to take responsibility for her--that she keeps out of trouble, that she changes, when in reality it is SHE who must do so. And she must of necessity struggle and keep struggling until, and suffer--until she learns. Some people never do. How handy to spew at you the words THAT YOU FAILED HER. Give me a break. Honestly, I would cut that off NOW. All of that is a siren song that will keep her believing that any agency in her life, WILL COME FROM OTHERS NOT HER. When the exact opposite is true. She will change herself. Only her. That is why I would forget about how the Court dropped the ball. There is no external thing that will help them until they decide to help themselves. [/QUOTE]
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