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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 707136" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I am wondering how your son can go on stage yet be afraid to work. I do understand anxiety disorder. Intimately. I have had it all my life, even as a child. My official diagnosis...are generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and mild obsessive compulsive disorder and I also have a mood disorder not otherwise specified. I made myself get help and try to work. I tried medications until I found medications that worked. I never gave up on me. I never smoked pot. Pot isnt helping your son at all. He isnt better. Hes just dazed. He is not doing better smoking pot.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I dont judge you. i know we also must do what feels good to us...that we have often super pity our children. We love them so much.</p><p></p><p>But I dont judge father in law either. I read that 10% of the population has anxiety disorder. It is easy to treat, if the person is willing to try hard to get help, and your son is doing nothing to help himself. Most people woth anxiety work. My autistic son has anxiety, as do all autistics. He works two part time jobs and gets a little social security. He lives alone and has a fairly normal life...not comparing him to yours. It just is. It is partly motivation in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>Has your son gone for further evaluation lately? How hard does he try to get better? Had he applied for social security at least? I dont think you are wrong but I dont think your father in law is wrong either. Your husband will do ehat he has to do. You cant control him. Maybe he sort of agrees with his father. Maybe he is afraid of him. This is his decision, how to deal with his father.</p><p></p><p>All of us make choices when our adult children wont thrive or work. in my opinion anxiety disorder can and should be agressively treated with the goal of working. Your son does go outstde...he is not agoraphobic. He does drama and dances and he must go out to get pot. How does he pay for pot?</p><p></p><p>I am not trying fo be harsh. As someome who has mental illness, was in the hospital thrice, i do not see any mental health disorder, other than psychosis like schizophrenia, as a reason to sit around, smoke pot, and live off parents. The only way for anxiety to improve is professional help and doing what scares you until you see its not so scary. Pot will never help him function.</p><p></p><p>If this were my child he would have to be working very hard in therapy, taking real medications and working part time or at least regularly volunteering to get monetary help. If he receives social security he also gets help with job coaching and other services. I would urge he apply. Its more than pocket change. It also opens the door to many services. He can go to The Dept. Of Workforce Develipment to find a job he can handle. This is worth more than the social security in my opinion. But you need one to get the other.</p><p></p><p>Son is not improving. I'm on board with forcing him to do much more to help himself. I would start with having him intensively evaluated at a high level (not a therapist or social worker). Maybe he has a form of mild autism. Hr needs a total evaluation from the big guys...a psychiatrist or better a neuro psychologist (a psycologist with extra training in the brain). If there is no pressure for him to function, he apparently wont try.</p><p></p><p>Again, this is just my point of view as a mental health patient. My attitude is to not give up on yourself and I cringe when patients try to say pot is helping. If so, are they functioning better?</p><p></p><p>Hugs. Thid is hard with no one right answer. Our experiences drive our advice. And we are all different.</p><p></p><p>My biggest concern is that we will all die one day. Can they live without us because they must. So getting s way to sustain...this has to happen. Without us.This is the huge elephant in the room. What about when we are gone?</p><p></p><p>Think everything over and take on differing opinions even if in the end they are not right for you. We are all here for you regardless of how you handle your son. We support you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 707136, member: 1550"] I am wondering how your son can go on stage yet be afraid to work. I do understand anxiety disorder. Intimately. I have had it all my life, even as a child. My official diagnosis...are generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and mild obsessive compulsive disorder and I also have a mood disorder not otherwise specified. I made myself get help and try to work. I tried medications until I found medications that worked. I never gave up on me. I never smoked pot. Pot isnt helping your son at all. He isnt better. Hes just dazed. He is not doing better smoking pot. I dont judge you. i know we also must do what feels good to us...that we have often super pity our children. We love them so much. But I dont judge father in law either. I read that 10% of the population has anxiety disorder. It is easy to treat, if the person is willing to try hard to get help, and your son is doing nothing to help himself. Most people woth anxiety work. My autistic son has anxiety, as do all autistics. He works two part time jobs and gets a little social security. He lives alone and has a fairly normal life...not comparing him to yours. It just is. It is partly motivation in my opinion. Has your son gone for further evaluation lately? How hard does he try to get better? Had he applied for social security at least? I dont think you are wrong but I dont think your father in law is wrong either. Your husband will do ehat he has to do. You cant control him. Maybe he sort of agrees with his father. Maybe he is afraid of him. This is his decision, how to deal with his father. All of us make choices when our adult children wont thrive or work. in my opinion anxiety disorder can and should be agressively treated with the goal of working. Your son does go outstde...he is not agoraphobic. He does drama and dances and he must go out to get pot. How does he pay for pot? I am not trying fo be harsh. As someome who has mental illness, was in the hospital thrice, i do not see any mental health disorder, other than psychosis like schizophrenia, as a reason to sit around, smoke pot, and live off parents. The only way for anxiety to improve is professional help and doing what scares you until you see its not so scary. Pot will never help him function. If this were my child he would have to be working very hard in therapy, taking real medications and working part time or at least regularly volunteering to get monetary help. If he receives social security he also gets help with job coaching and other services. I would urge he apply. Its more than pocket change. It also opens the door to many services. He can go to The Dept. Of Workforce Develipment to find a job he can handle. This is worth more than the social security in my opinion. But you need one to get the other. Son is not improving. I'm on board with forcing him to do much more to help himself. I would start with having him intensively evaluated at a high level (not a therapist or social worker). Maybe he has a form of mild autism. Hr needs a total evaluation from the big guys...a psychiatrist or better a neuro psychologist (a psycologist with extra training in the brain). If there is no pressure for him to function, he apparently wont try. Again, this is just my point of view as a mental health patient. My attitude is to not give up on yourself and I cringe when patients try to say pot is helping. If so, are they functioning better? Hugs. Thid is hard with no one right answer. Our experiences drive our advice. And we are all different. My biggest concern is that we will all die one day. Can they live without us because they must. So getting s way to sustain...this has to happen. Without us.This is the huge elephant in the room. What about when we are gone? Think everything over and take on differing opinions even if in the end they are not right for you. We are all here for you regardless of how you handle your son. We support you. [/QUOTE]
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