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Failure to Thrive
Stuck in a corner
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 707225" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>The grandfather reminds me of someone that is really old school thinking. Like if you don't shape up and live your life to make ME proud then I'm coming down on you! I think a lot of older people are like that. I'm not making excuses at all but just saying consider the source. We cannot control how other people, even family, treat our Difficult Child's.</p><p></p><p>Have you considered going to therapy for yourself to help you maneuver this type of parenting? Even though your son is a young adult at 23, it can be very difficult for us moms since we are programmed to want to help our children at any cost. My therapist has helped me establish boundaries with our son. I have been broken hearted for so long over his choices but they do seem to be starting to move in the right direction. Slow as hell but oh well!</p><p></p><p>My son has horrible anxiety also and since he is away from us he has a job that I'd never dreamed he'd be able to do, let alone take a college class. Those two things were huge triggers for him when he was living in our home. But doing these things helps build self esteem too so it's a win-win for him (and us).</p><p></p><p>Perhaps a therapist can help you craft a plan for your son so that you can be sure he is continually moving forward - even at a snail's pace it seems at times. We are doing this with our son right now and things are stable with him and I am beyond grateful for that.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting and reading others' posts. This forum is truly a wealth of knowledge. It's helped me tremendously.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 707225, member: 15032"] The grandfather reminds me of someone that is really old school thinking. Like if you don't shape up and live your life to make ME proud then I'm coming down on you! I think a lot of older people are like that. I'm not making excuses at all but just saying consider the source. We cannot control how other people, even family, treat our Difficult Child's. Have you considered going to therapy for yourself to help you maneuver this type of parenting? Even though your son is a young adult at 23, it can be very difficult for us moms since we are programmed to want to help our children at any cost. My therapist has helped me establish boundaries with our son. I have been broken hearted for so long over his choices but they do seem to be starting to move in the right direction. Slow as hell but oh well! My son has horrible anxiety also and since he is away from us he has a job that I'd never dreamed he'd be able to do, let alone take a college class. Those two things were huge triggers for him when he was living in our home. But doing these things helps build self esteem too so it's a win-win for him (and us). Perhaps a therapist can help you craft a plan for your son so that you can be sure he is continually moving forward - even at a snail's pace it seems at times. We are doing this with our son right now and things are stable with him and I am beyond grateful for that. Keep posting and reading others' posts. This forum is truly a wealth of knowledge. It's helped me tremendously. [/QUOTE]
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