Detachment has its ups and downs. I must be in a down because I'm finding life unmanageable. Daughter said she was dancing privately for money (last post), daughter moves out of boyfriend's home. Daughter moves in with other "private dancers" and then daughter moves in with BFF who says she wants something better for my daughter. We take weekend getaway with our other children and some friends. During that weekend getaway... Daughter then proceeds to go to hotel party with BFF (husband advised her not to), some shady friends and two bottles of tequila. Daughter gets in fight with BFF (aka place-to-stay/gravy train), punches her, and then reaches a "crisis" (whoops I just gnawed on the hand that feeds me!!!) which means she calls my husband at 4am (he tells her we're out of town and she's SOL) - daughter calls my ENABLER parents. Tells them she's at the end of her rope, hit rock bottom and wants help -- or she's going to kill herself. My ENABLER Parents go into hyper-helping mode, pick her up, take her to the ER where they sit for hours, she is assessed, not identified as a threat to herself, and released. My ENABLER father is mad at the system and focuses his anger on that. Daughter goes to dirty friend's house to "babysit" for the night. Next day ENABLER mother picks daughter up, gets her some lunch, goes to the BFF's house to get daughter's stuff. This kills me: ENABLER mother goes to the door to get her stuff, because my daughter is still embarrassed from her drunken freak out the night prior. ENABLER mother drives daughter back to (ex? current)boyfriend's home to stay with them again. ENABLER mother says she told daughter she had off 2 days this week and would take her to any appointments she needed to make on her quest to get healthy. I told my mom it was good to support her in getting to her appointments, but to try to let her (daughter) be responsible for as much as possible. Let her have that ownership. Don't make it about shopping or lunches or rides to friend's after the appointments. Make it about the appointment only. Mom picks her up to go to her gynie and proceeds to buy her shoes. How do I know she bought her sparkly new pink shoes? Daughter sends me a text to tell me, and my mother strangely is unavailable for phone calls. I'm worn the eff out. I'm tired. I feel like I've exhausted myself in helping/supporting my parents. They are pretty much just as sick as she is, honestly. We all are. Seeing how much it still affects me, I'm obviously stuck in the mess, too. What do I do? Cut off my contact with them for a week? My counselor told me to try that with my daughter. But my mother is almost as painful. I'm so frustrated and angry. I don't understand my parents. But I have to work on letting it go. Have been to counselor, Al-anon, psychiatric., on medications... and I'm still feeling like I've got water up to my nostrils, trying my hardest to tread, tread, tread and not go under.