Stuggling to deal

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jungleland, Mar 12, 2009.

  1. Jungleland

    Jungleland Welcome to my jungle!

    with Aly's interpretation of reality lately.

    Our difficult child, Aly, is having a difficult time with telling the truth, embellishing the truth, and right out lying. This is happening at school now as well as at home.

    Bizarre stories are being told and when she is asked about them, she either denies saying them vehenmetly or starts crying saying we or school staff never believe her.

    Now it has gone a step further and she told her school counselor (or at least we think this is who reported) that her little sister "J" was scared of me and that I spank J all the time.

    And you guessed it, CPS is now involved and they have interviewed both girls and husband and I. Oy vey!

    Have husband or I ever spanked J? Yes, of course, but rarely as J is one you can look at wrong and her behaviors stop. I do not believe in using spanking as a first line of discipline especially with children like J who respond well to short time outs or "do over" chances. And we haven't spanked Aly in forever, spanking was never a good choice of discipline for her.

    We explained, as well as we could, to the SW from CPS the nature of Aly's disorders and we think she "got it" but who knows. Next step is follow up with the girls and discussions with Aly's tdocs, teachers, etc.

    We are not overly concerned about the outcome of the report of "abuse", but we are concerned about Aly's hold on reality. She told my friend's 9 yo daughter that we have a horse that is expecting a baby any day and that she has to watch the monitor 24/7 to make sure the horse is ok. She also told another child that a horse died in our pasture and she had to dig the hole and bury it. She told my friend's husband that she was in contact with her bio mom and we were working on her returning to her.

    And on and on it goes. We are having to explain things to so many people, we are feeling like we are constantly on "clean up duty". This makes me sad but at times angry as well. I think I am struggling mostly with the guilt of feeling angry at Aly when clearly she, at this time, is not capable of seeing the damage that can be done by some of her "stories".

    We were very careful to tell both girls that we are proud of them about talking to a trusted adult that they were worried about spanking. We want them to know they can tell if someone is doing something they feel uncomfortable about and they are NOT in trouble. I pray they got this message.

    We will be starting with an in-home Behaviorist in May and it can't come soon enough. I pray that having someone in our home, will help all of us gain better tools in dealing with all of these types of situations.

    Thank you for letting me vent. I am so thankful for my on-line family!!

    Hugs, Vickie
  2. Loony Smurf

    Loony Smurf Member

    (((hugs))) sounds like a pretty rough thing to deal can sure throw a wrench into things with their imagination.

    Is there any chance this can be due to her medications needing adjusted?
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hi Vicki--

    We have the same problem with our difficult child. If she's speaking......she's lying.

    We do suspect that it is because she does not have a good handle on reality or the way the world she borrows facts and scenarios from movies, books, other kids, etc to explain things. And then because her stories seem to earn a certain amount of attention--they get more and more grandiose. It is as though she is trying hard to put together something that other folks seem to want to hear...regardless of the truth...because she enjoys the attention and the reaction she gets.

    Sad, really....

    So sorry that you are going through this--but you are definitely not alone.

  4. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Hey Vickie!
    Always good to "see" you.

    Sorry your Aly is struggling with lying, telling the truth, etc. Ya know, even my easy child had trouble with this a few years ago. I really think it had to do with getting negative attention. We reminded her that there has been enough REAL drama in her life that why would she need to make something up to be of interest to others...I mean really! lol

    Hope the Behaviorist will help and also hope CPS closes up their case soon...what a hassle.

  5. Jungleland

    Jungleland Welcome to my jungle!

    medication check was last month, at that time psychiatrist didn't want to change anything. She has grown sooo much in the last 3 months, I too have been wondering if something should be adjusted. We have to be super careful with her medications though, she is really sensitive to any changes and usually they have to be changed while inpatient psychiatric hospital. Really don't want to do that if at all possible.

    I know that all kids fabricate stories, even negative stuff for the attention. Just wish people would check with us first before calling in CPS!! :tongue::faint:

    I am positive this will all blow over, just hate the feeling of being under a microscope, once again! :wince:
  6. compassion

    compassion Member

    In my experince, it is part of the instability I am sorry you are dealing with this. She has spun a lot of tales and still not sure what is reality and what is fantsy with her. Like she told me last night there is a girl who is alot like her and I am not sure this girl actualy rally exists. Imagination is great but those spins can be scary but now I know it is part of her illness. She was doing this before we had the diagnosis and knew more waht was happening. Compassion