Style Denial...Don't hang on to your britches

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Star*, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    So I'm at the gas station waiting to fill up because this one place is the absolute cheapest around. At least .10 cheaper than anyone else. I'm in line behind two younger urban kids. She; dressed very nicely in a stylish pair of bluejeans, ankle boots, sweater, nice hair and makeup. Him? Okay supa-fly. He is about 110 lbs. soaking wet wearing 2 t-shirts with I think more glitter than a brownie troop has in their craft box, decidedly more chains than all 4 of my pit bulls have, and jeans big enough for me and him to get into hanging down around his knees. He has on a braided belt (what good it's doing I have NO idea) Are they wearing belts around the knees now? I can't keep up.

    So he gets the trash out of the back seat of her car, bends over and down go the jeans he's pulled up for the 10th time AGAIN! This time when they go down his extremely loose boxer shorts go down with them and I got to see his entire nekid butt. I rolled my eyes, exhaled, and looked away. Not impressed. I've seen more meat on a thin cut steak. He wasn't in a hurry to pick up his pants either. Jeez-Louise. So then he is talking to this nice young lady and she asks him to stop the gas pump and he walks around with his legs spread out like a cow boy on a three month cattle drive with saddle sores; gets to the pump is now FACING me and DOWN.....go the jeans and boxers again. This time I'm getting the full frontal Monty. I'm sitting there....he has the gas pump in one hand, he's reaching for his britches with the other, and it's like his brain can't figure out to let go of the pump, to pick up his pants and cover himself.

    He looks at me - I'm staring at him. I am NOT IMPRESSED IN THE LEAST. His girlfriend comes around the car and now she's got her hip cocked out, arms crossed, tapping her foot, and begins to walk over and get the window squeege and beat this boy with it who is trying to pull up his pants. Oh not for MY benefit I assure you. There was another car full of young ladies in the bay next to us. Then as if they had JUST figured out that I'm now sitting there tapping my steering wheel waiting, waiting.....waiting.....she smiles and makes the "Oh I'm sorry" words and then like ZAP - barks at him "GET IN THE CAR (*#()$*# and he gets in the back seat." and they pull up just enough for me to get gas - while she continues to beat this boy with her purse.

    My thought was this. IF at 45....we started wearing our pants around our knees.....pierced our tongues, our eyes, our lips, and guaged our ears; If we put streaks of color in our hair, wore clothes 4x too big for us, and walked through stores allowing our butt cracks and belly buttons to show with jewelry to hang out. If we all did this for about a year? I guarantee you all ......within nine months our kids would dress like what WE consider we really WANT them to. Because we all know they will do whatever we DO NOT. That's all we have to do. So today I'm off to find some boxers, and a knee belt. I already have clothes that are too big for me..I enjoy running around nekid...I'm just a few earrings away from changing the styles GOSH...I'm 1/2 way there!!!! ;)

    I can hardly wait to moon some teenager at the gas station.....

    Maybe I'll get a lot of tattoos too.....what do you think? A donkey and a peace sign....a string of hearts.....a dragon.....and hello kitty right on my butt.
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    I wonder what thank you was doing in your neck of the woods????:huh:

  3. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh this is priceless :) heheheh thanks!
  4. ThreeShadows

    ThreeShadows Quid me anxia?

    Now, Star, do you really want to get your nipples pierced difficult child 2 style? OUCH!
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think this is priceless! My sweatpants are already falling off my butt! I will join you. I wont get real tats but I will go find some fake ones and put them on. I have shirts that are way too tight from when I lost weight so I can wear them with the sweats falling down to show my belly I just hate that look!

    Maybe I will dye my hair black and wear white makeup and bright red lips! LOL...oh this could be fun!
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I call them "one handed" pants. Because they have to keep one hand in their pocket to hold them up as they walk. If they don't? All bets are off.
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911

    OMG one handed pants.....ROFLM pants off.

    Janet I completely forgot about the CROW makeup ensemble. Digity!

    ShadowShadowShadow - See? THAT is just it. IF WE told OUR kids that they are all SISSIES.....and the RIGHT way to get your tongue pierced was to have someone pull your tongue out with tongues and lay it on a block of wood and drive a 16 penny nail through it then jerk the nail out with a hammer THEN put a stud through that gapin' hole and make sure THAT was the way that ears and nipples were done? (you getting a visual on that too?) then I bet less kids would "go for the pierced look" I mean if you are going to poke a hole in yourself don't be a woosie about it - POKE A HOLE.

    And Janet - I'm all over the Cracker Jack as we speak looking for the tattoos. Lick/stick...peel. Lick/stick/peel. :tongue:/stick/peel.

    (FYI I've had my nipple removed...and it hurt really bad, but they literally put it back on with super glue and steel tape strips after surgery. I had ductile carcinoma surgery about 12 years ago) I don't even have my EARS pierced.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont have ANYTHING pierced either and dont plan on it...but they do sell some good fakes.

    I know for a fact that if I tell my boys that I have gone anywhere near certain "specialty" stores that it just grosses them out to the I found out that you can buy fake tongue rings at adult stores! Now why one would want one is beyond me...ok...I do understand it...but not something I would want...until now with our evil plan!!!!
  9. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    Star, your posts need a warning on them. I almost choked on my lunch I was laughing so hard.

    This style is bad enough, but it was worse the day I saw the adult guy going around town but with tighty-whities instead of boxers. Wonder if he was making a point to his own kids?
  10. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    LOL Thanks for the belly laugh. -RM
  11. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You see, the way I figure it the boys who wear them are only 'wannabe" thugs. There's no way they could run in those things with the "wide stance" you have to use. It's gotta be cutting down on delinquency, or at least helping the cops catch the bad guys.
  12. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I can still remember the first time we saw the "jailin" look. We were at a shopping mall just after having returned from nearly eight years in Germany.

    A group of "thugs" went by wearing these things and husband called out to them, "Hey man! Doesn't that CHAFE?"

    husband was short and very wiry--not a spare ounce on him. He used to routinely wear either a belt or suspenders to make sure his britches stood up.

    I was make embarrassingly aware if a weight loss while visiting my mother. I KNEW my jeans were a bit loose. I offered to reach up and get some stuff off a top shelf as my mother is very short.

    Well...I got the stuff, but my freaking pants fell down in the process. Mum was no help at all because she was laughing so hard I thought she was going to have a coronary.

    Needless to say, I went out and got a belt the same day.
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Unfortunately... Starbie... It just doesn't work that way!

    Years ago - when I first met BFF - he had his tongue pierced. Now I have (and had at the time) 3 tattoos, all coverable, in the summer all showable - IF I CHOOSE. Anyway, BFF's wife (at the time, now ex) had her eyebrow pierced, and had had her tongue pierced but took it out when she got pregnant.

    One of the girls at work got her navel pierced and I expressed the sentiment that I wished I was that brave. Darn it if BFF didn't double-dog-dare me to do it. So... Now MY navel is pierced. Has been for almost 10 years.

    H (BFF's current wife) has tongue pierced, gauged ears, nipples pierced and... um... how to say this delicately? A sensitive body part "down there" pierced. OW! (OK, I'm going on hearsay here, but I don't doubt it.)

    I wear... tank tops and hoodies, skinny jeans... But I don't look like I'm advertising, I am careful to cover. I AM an adult after all.

    This has not stopped Onyxx. She dresses suggestively - I have more than once seen her breakfast when she has leaned over, and I'm not impressed by this. She's gauging her ears. She has - herself - pierced: the cartilage on the top of her right ear; a third hole in each ear; her nose; her lip (before it was done professionally); her HIPS (don't ask me why, I do NOT know), and her navel. Possibly more - I quit asking. She uses my sewing machine needles to do it. UGH!

    I see plumber's crack all the time. She pushes her already-low-rise jeans down - I don't know why the extra space at the top of her thighs doesn't bother her. At least there's no camel toe! Of course, it is to show off the thong underwear. When she wears skirts, they're microminis. And no, I don't buy these for her. Neither does husband. We have NO IDEA how she is getting them, especially since she cannot go to the mall. They don't sell this kind of stuff at Wal Mart - where she cannot go either without us. All I can figure is her "friends" are bringing this stuff to her at school.

    Doesn't matter if we dress like her... act like her... pierce/tattoo... listen to her music...
  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Maybe Onyxx did her hips to hitch her pants onto? No belt needed! ;)
  15. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    :rofl:HMMMMMM You just might be right about that... LOL she did take them out finally - apparently they hurt!
  16. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How do you pierce a hip? And why? Im feeling my hips and trying to imagine what I would have to do to pierce my hips! And where I would do it!

    What kind of rings do they use? I think I would need a railroad spike! Or a knitting
  17. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    All I can say is I'm very glad Rob outgrew most of this stuff. He's still pretty obsessed with tattoos but he's down to 1 earring in each ear (as opposed to about 23-24 on his ears/eyebrow)....and his pants fit! I think I have Heather to thank for most of the changes. :D

  18. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I was in a walmart line last year with easy child. There was a similar couple. Yuppy type college girl. A bit of plain jane perhaps. Then this man-child dressed with the ridiculous oversized shirt and the latest craze in Big Pants (typical modern "skinny jeans" that suddenly balloon above the knee, growing in epic proportions by the time they turn into a semblance of a waist band). he had the stylin' chain/links thing dangling from one side of the belt loops. The quirky and weird looking old school baseball cap type thing, turned side ways (reminded me of the fresh prince of bel air intro where will smith is all dorky and has the cap flipped up and pointing to the side).

    Anyhow, this stylin' guy was having issues keeping the pants up while loading the conveyor belt with his purchases. By the time his pants creeped low enough to see crack and partial cheeks, easy child's face showed what I, being an adult, was able to mostly/paritally conceal. A strange fascination and inability to look away, mixed with anticipation of the floor show, shock that this person was more concerned with taking stuff out of a cart than with his about to be revealed netherbits!

    So when the bits and bobs began making an appearance, easy child says to me "There are some things people just reallllllyyyyyyyyyyyy don't want to see, and that is one of them. What happened to "If you've GOT it flaunt it?" Mom, he doesn't "Got It".

    Of course being directly behind him, he heard every word, as did his g/f, as did the cashier and other waiting customers behind us. Lots of snickers, snorts, hands over mouths trying so hard to keep a straight face.

    Boy-o turned 12 shades of red and the g/f hissed to pull those nasty pants up. HAHAHAHA!!!

    I soooo think we should all dress this way on Halloween complete with awful goth makeup. When kids/teens look at us oddly, we can say "Thank you for the inspiration!"
  19. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Janet - I'm not entirely sure. I know they use the straight bars like in tongues. I haven't the FOGGIEST why. It's like pinning a corsage onto a dress, though - through some skin, the end pieces sticking out.

    I really don't understand that part.
  20. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Maybe she's too skinny for "love handles".