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Such a struggle-need ideas...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 13305" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>The depression can make it REALLY hard to get them to do anything. They withdraw, shut down and it becomes a vicious circle, almost like Japan's hikikomori cases. I'll keep my thinking cap on for you, but somehow you have to get him outside and exercising. Can you get him to go out for a walk with you, late at night when there's nobody else around? Outside and even mild exercise can make a huge difference.</p><p></p><p>Also, he depends on you for things still. You do have some leverage. I wouldn't mention it right now, see if you can get him out of the house for half an hour a day, minimum, but we also set requirements on our older kids - participate and get a life, or we won't feed, clothe and house you. Even volunteer work is better than nothing. Computer games won't work if household power is shut off. Volunteering at an old folks' home is good - if he can play chess or scrabble with some of the inmates it raises their quality of life and should make him feel a bit more worthwhile too.</p><p></p><p>We had difficult child 1 volunteering at a zoo. He spent 1 day a week for 18 months shovelling manure in all weathers, and not only did the exercise do him good, he enjoyed the work because it was different (different kinds of manure, anyway!).</p><p></p><p>Depression can stand alone or be a big part of High-Functioning Autism (HFA). It can be crippling. Letting them stay indoors can lead to increasing and eventually extreme isolation. You need to break the cycle.</p><p></p><p>If he's refusing to go to school, how does he propose to get an education? Are there alternatives he's prepared to try? We have alternatives here, they're often a much better choice for kids like this. It's also the same route as adult education/mature age students, so they're in with other classmates who they're more likely to relate to.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 13305, member: 1991"] The depression can make it REALLY hard to get them to do anything. They withdraw, shut down and it becomes a vicious circle, almost like Japan's hikikomori cases. I'll keep my thinking cap on for you, but somehow you have to get him outside and exercising. Can you get him to go out for a walk with you, late at night when there's nobody else around? Outside and even mild exercise can make a huge difference. Also, he depends on you for things still. You do have some leverage. I wouldn't mention it right now, see if you can get him out of the house for half an hour a day, minimum, but we also set requirements on our older kids - participate and get a life, or we won't feed, clothe and house you. Even volunteer work is better than nothing. Computer games won't work if household power is shut off. Volunteering at an old folks' home is good - if he can play chess or scrabble with some of the inmates it raises their quality of life and should make him feel a bit more worthwhile too. We had difficult child 1 volunteering at a zoo. He spent 1 day a week for 18 months shovelling manure in all weathers, and not only did the exercise do him good, he enjoyed the work because it was different (different kinds of manure, anyway!). Depression can stand alone or be a big part of High-Functioning Autism (HFA). It can be crippling. Letting them stay indoors can lead to increasing and eventually extreme isolation. You need to break the cycle. If he's refusing to go to school, how does he propose to get an education? Are there alternatives he's prepared to try? We have alternatives here, they're often a much better choice for kids like this. It's also the same route as adult education/mature age students, so they're in with other classmates who they're more likely to relate to. Marg [/QUOTE]
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