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Sucker punched in the heart
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<blockquote data-quote="WearyMom18" data-source="post: 653850" data-attributes="member: 18856"><p>So much of the time our Difficult Child'S, in the throes of their madness and bad behavior put the blame and abuse and responsibility back on us. I don't know that we will EVER know why they do things that they know will result in consequences they won't like and we can't control that. We CAN control what we do in response and I can say very honestly that for me, hindsight is 20/20. I should have done what you are doing. Call the credit card company, report the fraud, tell him he needs to leave, all things that will require that he answer for his actions and figure it out on his own and that is freedom for you because there is nothing you can do to control his choices or actions at 19 years old.</p><p>These are choices made by him as an adult. If it were a 19 year old stranger you wouldn't hesitate to report the theft! By taking action to protect yourself, he will be faced with consequences that come from the law, from society that says it's not okay and for once, whether he admits it or not, he will find that it's not just you that says there are consequences it's the world! My daughter is 18, a meth addict and I'd a professional at this type of behavior so I feel your pain. It's hurtful to be taken advantage of by your own child, the little person you raised all these years but it is what it is. He is an adult, making his own decisions good or bad and that is NOT on you. Your raising of him is done, now, even though frustrating and painful, we have to start to step back and let them live they life they choose. </p><p>I know the guilt you feel but by following the guidance and advice of the wonderful people on this board you can find peace. </p><p>Stay strong, mean what you say and follow through on any action you tell him you will take. </p><p>You can do it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WearyMom18, post: 653850, member: 18856"] So much of the time our Difficult Child'S, in the throes of their madness and bad behavior put the blame and abuse and responsibility back on us. I don't know that we will EVER know why they do things that they know will result in consequences they won't like and we can't control that. We CAN control what we do in response and I can say very honestly that for me, hindsight is 20/20. I should have done what you are doing. Call the credit card company, report the fraud, tell him he needs to leave, all things that will require that he answer for his actions and figure it out on his own and that is freedom for you because there is nothing you can do to control his choices or actions at 19 years old. These are choices made by him as an adult. If it were a 19 year old stranger you wouldn't hesitate to report the theft! By taking action to protect yourself, he will be faced with consequences that come from the law, from society that says it's not okay and for once, whether he admits it or not, he will find that it's not just you that says there are consequences it's the world! My daughter is 18, a meth addict and I'd a professional at this type of behavior so I feel your pain. It's hurtful to be taken advantage of by your own child, the little person you raised all these years but it is what it is. He is an adult, making his own decisions good or bad and that is NOT on you. Your raising of him is done, now, even though frustrating and painful, we have to start to step back and let them live they life they choose. I know the guilt you feel but by following the guidance and advice of the wonderful people on this board you can find peace. Stay strong, mean what you say and follow through on any action you tell him you will take. You can do it! [/QUOTE]
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