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Sue C is here....it's been a long time
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 719462" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Welcome back!!! It is great to have you here. I am glad your older daughter is doing well. Losing your husband is a tragedy and I am so sorry. </p><p></p><p>As for your younger daughter, there is absolutely no excuse for her behavior. NONE! Especially teaching her child to disrespect you verbally and to hit you. Trust me, that won't stop as the child gets older and bigger. Stop that NOW. </p><p></p><p>It is time to get a different therapist and get your daughter out of your house. Your grandkids are not your responsibility. Yes, they tug at your heartstrings. It will be hard to drop them at a shelter. Maybe you need to get an attorney and contact CPS to get custody of the kids rather than letting her take them with her. I don't know the legalities in your area, but that may be something you want to look into. Either way, get that woman out of your house. There is no excuse for the way she treats you.</p><p></p><p>Please notice I said "woman". Your daughter is not a child. She is an adult, a woman. She is fully able to take care of herself. She is fully responsible for herself. She has not one but TWO children of her own that she is also responsible for. You are treating her as though she is a child. Try treating her like an adult and making her take responsibility for her own bills, her own children, and her own care and shelter. It will make her grow up in a hurry. She needs to learn that if she says "Grandma B*tch" then Grandma will BE a B*tch to her. Not just to be mean, but to teach her that actions have consequences.</p><p></p><p>She CHOSE to have kids with fathers who would not pay support. I bet those fathers drink and likely smoke or use other substances. If they have cash for that, they can cough up for their kids. Get the law involved and get some cash out of them. It should not come from Grandma's pocket. As long as Grandma is nice, Mom and the fathers will not bother to pay. As soon as Grandma starts acting like a rational adult, who doesn't want to be taken advantage of, Mom and the fathers will HAVE to pay or find a new mark to squeeze the cash out of. I think that is all you are to your daughter at this point, a mark to take advantage of. Stand up for yourself and don't allow it.</p><p></p><p>As for your therapist, not all therapists have the sense that God gave chickens. Some of them are not smart enough to come in out of the rain. This one sure isn't. To tell you that you can't kick your daughter out because she has kids? Total idiot who needs a therapist is what this therapist is!!! Most people don't realize that to become a therapist you have to have a certain number of hours of therapy yourself. Often it isn't enough, and some just don't have any common sense. Find a different therapist, one who can see you every week, not every month. Or at least see you every other week! There is nothing wrong with viewing the first 2-3 visits with a therapist as an interview where YOU are interviewing the therapist to see if they will be a good fit for you. I have always done this because I am the one paying and I need a therapist who will meet MY needs. I don't care if the therapist likes this or not. Actually, if they get offended by this, we won't be a good fit because they are an idiot in my opinion. Better to find that out up front. Try going in with this attitude and seeing if it helps you find someone who will help you.</p><p></p><p>As for your daughter, if you continue to allow her to stay long term, you will end up seriously abused. This physical and financial abuse is only going to get worse. She is going to raise those kids to beat you. Is that on your list of goals for life? Or is that something you don't thing sounds like fun or something you want to support? If you don't want to be a beaten, financially abused woman, start taking steps to get her out of your home. Use her violence against her to get custody of the kids if you want it. A good sharky lawyer can do this. If they say they cannot, interview another lawyer. </p><p></p><p>Also, each time she hits you or damages ANYTHING in your home, call the police. I don't CARE if she has a record or is getting anger management counseling or whatever. Keep calling and pressing charges every time. It will only help you get her out faster. Ask for an order of protection against her next time so she cannot come into your home if you want her out fast. Otherwise you may have to go through a legal eviction. Then you will have to give her 30 days or some such nonsense to get out. There is no telling how violent she will get in those last 30 days.</p><p></p><p>Of course this is just my opinion. I understand if you are not ready to take these steps. You have my full support for whatever steps you are ready to take, whenever you are ready to take them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 719462, member: 1233"] Welcome back!!! It is great to have you here. I am glad your older daughter is doing well. Losing your husband is a tragedy and I am so sorry. As for your younger daughter, there is absolutely no excuse for her behavior. NONE! Especially teaching her child to disrespect you verbally and to hit you. Trust me, that won't stop as the child gets older and bigger. Stop that NOW. It is time to get a different therapist and get your daughter out of your house. Your grandkids are not your responsibility. Yes, they tug at your heartstrings. It will be hard to drop them at a shelter. Maybe you need to get an attorney and contact CPS to get custody of the kids rather than letting her take them with her. I don't know the legalities in your area, but that may be something you want to look into. Either way, get that woman out of your house. There is no excuse for the way she treats you. Please notice I said "woman". Your daughter is not a child. She is an adult, a woman. She is fully able to take care of herself. She is fully responsible for herself. She has not one but TWO children of her own that she is also responsible for. You are treating her as though she is a child. Try treating her like an adult and making her take responsibility for her own bills, her own children, and her own care and shelter. It will make her grow up in a hurry. She needs to learn that if she says "Grandma B*tch" then Grandma will BE a B*tch to her. Not just to be mean, but to teach her that actions have consequences. She CHOSE to have kids with fathers who would not pay support. I bet those fathers drink and likely smoke or use other substances. If they have cash for that, they can cough up for their kids. Get the law involved and get some cash out of them. It should not come from Grandma's pocket. As long as Grandma is nice, Mom and the fathers will not bother to pay. As soon as Grandma starts acting like a rational adult, who doesn't want to be taken advantage of, Mom and the fathers will HAVE to pay or find a new mark to squeeze the cash out of. I think that is all you are to your daughter at this point, a mark to take advantage of. Stand up for yourself and don't allow it. As for your therapist, not all therapists have the sense that God gave chickens. Some of them are not smart enough to come in out of the rain. This one sure isn't. To tell you that you can't kick your daughter out because she has kids? Total idiot who needs a therapist is what this therapist is!!! Most people don't realize that to become a therapist you have to have a certain number of hours of therapy yourself. Often it isn't enough, and some just don't have any common sense. Find a different therapist, one who can see you every week, not every month. Or at least see you every other week! There is nothing wrong with viewing the first 2-3 visits with a therapist as an interview where YOU are interviewing the therapist to see if they will be a good fit for you. I have always done this because I am the one paying and I need a therapist who will meet MY needs. I don't care if the therapist likes this or not. Actually, if they get offended by this, we won't be a good fit because they are an idiot in my opinion. Better to find that out up front. Try going in with this attitude and seeing if it helps you find someone who will help you. As for your daughter, if you continue to allow her to stay long term, you will end up seriously abused. This physical and financial abuse is only going to get worse. She is going to raise those kids to beat you. Is that on your list of goals for life? Or is that something you don't thing sounds like fun or something you want to support? If you don't want to be a beaten, financially abused woman, start taking steps to get her out of your home. Use her violence against her to get custody of the kids if you want it. A good sharky lawyer can do this. If they say they cannot, interview another lawyer. Also, each time she hits you or damages ANYTHING in your home, call the police. I don't CARE if she has a record or is getting anger management counseling or whatever. Keep calling and pressing charges every time. It will only help you get her out faster. Ask for an order of protection against her next time so she cannot come into your home if you want her out fast. Otherwise you may have to go through a legal eviction. Then you will have to give her 30 days or some such nonsense to get out. There is no telling how violent she will get in those last 30 days. Of course this is just my opinion. I understand if you are not ready to take these steps. You have my full support for whatever steps you are ready to take, whenever you are ready to take them. [/QUOTE]
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