Suggestions for getting them out the door?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by IT1967, May 10, 2013.

  1. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    Slowly as the school year has progressed, it's gotten harder and harder to get my difficult children up and out the door and to school on time. They seem to be later and later getting out the door and I'm shorter and shorter on patience. It's at the point that unless I'm yelling at them, they're not moving. I hate this. I hate starting our day like this. I can't even figure out a "natural consequence" for them being late because one of them loves riding the bus and of course the other one hates the bus and would be thrilled to have parent drop off. difficult child 1 yelled at me this morning and said I was a terrible mom because I made her use the downstairs bathroom instead of letting her run all the way up to use the upstairs one. She literally had no time to go upstairs or she'd miss the bus. I know I should probably let them both miss the bus and take them both to school late because they do both hate walking in late to school. But I just want them out of the stupid house. I don't want to have to wait to take them to school late. I guess I have to suck it up and just do it a couple times and maybe they'll get back with-the program. I'm just aggravated about the whole thing. It's not good for any of us to start the day this way. :( Anyone else have this issue and have a solution/suggestion that worked for them?
  2. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I know most here are not in favour of reward charts, but I have found that at times they and other similar tools work very well for these types of problems there the desired behaviour isn't too complex and there it can be split to very small pieces. Basically behaviours that are 'trainable' not something bigger and deeper and more abstract. If it is something you can teach a dog or monkey to do, then rewards tend to work well also with kids, while teaching desired behaviour.

    For me a good tool for these type of issues were two jars you could see through. One for each boy. They were only getting candy at Saturdays and for years the amount of candy had to be earned during week. I had small candies and when they did something I wanted reinforce I put one or two small candies to their jar. Never took away for bad behaviour, tried that once or twice I think, but difficult child considered it a reason not to even try to collect candy, because "You would just find a reason to take it away." I always made sure there were enough easy behaviours that would give them a candy so they never went totally without. Target behaviours that earned them candies did change and I always told before hand, what were the targets of the week, but I also kept an option to add candy for any behaviour I felt like. So if they did something extra cool or if I wanted to reinforce some behaviour they usually did well already just to keep it up.

    So I would try to put together a list of things they need to do at mornings, time they have to have those finished (like out of bed 7 a.m., bathroom and teeth brushed done at 7.10 a.m. etc.) and give rewards. May not help, but worth a try.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    It's the end of the year. If they are anything like mine? They are TIRED. Not just "tired" of school. Physically, mentally and emotionally TIRED. They've put a lot in to the year and the energy runs out before the year does.

    I don't have any short-term solutions. For us... we've had to fight the TIRED stuff by cutting back on life ALL year, so that they don't keep on "running out of steam"... because for HS kids, they are at a point in life where they really can't afford to run out of steam, even in the summer.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    This time of year is a bummer....even for easy child's. The "count down" is clicking and truthfully all of the kids I've raised have had a harder time at the end of the school year. I never used "reward charts" but I absolutely used bribery. Yeah, I know it's not "endorsed" but by May....anything I could produce that would work...I would produce. Hugs DDD
  5. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    This may sound funny but if I give tk less time to get ready she sometimes does better, but it's never really on purpose it's excuse my
    Alarm failed to wake me and I wake up at 5 minutes to seven going "wake up wake up wake up wake up!"

    I've also used the getting clothes together the night before, showering and braiding hair so it isn't tangled and can more easily e dealt with. Pre making breakfast like muffins or banana bread. Because I'm not waking the child up prior to 6:30 and I'm not getting up prior to 6:30 to cook. I just refuse.

    Move your butt or you aren't going anywhere this weekend!
    Now Move!
    I have great drill sgt voice.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Okay your kids are still young so this will still work. If they wont get up and go to school on time to get on the bus, tell them that you will take them to school in their pajama's at the appropriate time AND you will walk them into school with your pajama's on to tell the school that the kids refused to get ready for school in a timely manner.You can have your regular clothes on under your robe. Make sure your hair looks like a mess. Put it up in rollers if you can. Take them to their classes if you can. Embarrass them as much as possible. Of course take a change of clothes for them with you so they can change in the office.. One or two times of this and they wont miss that bus I have done this.
  7. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    "Not a morning person" doesn't begin to cover my kid. We've had daily screaming matches about getting out of bed and to school. And I've nearly sent her there in PJs. Also told her I'd have the police deliver her there.

    Lately she's been better (not perfect, I still get up WAY early to start this process). I get up, make her breakfast, lay out her clothes, turn on her lights, including one of those lights that mimics sunlight, the TV in the living room, etc. Get all the light and noise rolling early. Greet her as I do this, but I don't try getting her up just yet. Once the lights, etc. are on, I put her clothes, deodorant, toothbrush in a pile in the bathroom (if it's not in that pile she won't remember to use it), then make her waffles. At a set time I will go to her room with her water or tea and her medications. Now we begin the drag the kid out of bed process. This can take time, which is why I get up so early to do it. And she takes forever to get ready, too, so my alarm goes off two hours before the bus arrives and I go in there with her medications half an hour after I get up and turn on everything. It's taken a while, but most of the time I have her out of bed without shouting in 15 minutes and her medications are in her. Sometimes she's more difficult or tired and it takes longer, sometimes it's easier. It's taken quite a while, and it's not always perfect (OMW there are mornings I still want to pour water on her because she's just not moving at all - but a lot less of them), and I don't know if it would work for someone with more than one child to handle, but it works for us (for now).
  8. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    I once had a friend with 2 boys that had the same problem so she made them sleep in their school clothes.

    my reaction waybackwhen was eww! how gross!! how lazy can you all be!!!

    now I think she was a was one less thing to do in the am, one less thing to fight over and it worked for her. obviously this is an easier plan with boys, but hey, a few days of yoga pants/tshirts never hurt anyone!
  9. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    I've had Storm sleep in her clothes before, too. And when she was really little I used to just dress her in her sleep before I got her up (yes, she was that much of a sleeper!).
  10. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'd also have them sleep in clothes. I would also have the teacher feed difficult child 2 breakfast. I would send something in his backpack or she would keep a tray of school breakfast for him. Or if the driver was ok with it he would eat on the bus.
  11. Supernic

    Supernic New Member

    We have a system that we developed this year that really seems to work for us.

    Our boys have to be dressed, bed made, room picked up, lunch made and by front door, backpack and coat by front door, shoes on - BEFORE they can eat breakfast. It's amazing how effective this has been.

    difficult child 2 is given his Vyvanse in bed and then allowed to go back to sleep for 30 mins in order to give the medication time to work.

    difficult child 3 has to walk to school if he misses the bus (it's about 1.5 miles away).