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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 683147" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>You are eloquent RN and a welcome addition in my book. I think we all just try to help as best we can, and when we post, it helps us , too.</p><p></p><p>I have answered some posts with encouragement to give over difficulties and loved ones to a higher power, if that is ones belief. I do believe in God, but try not to be overly religious with respect due to others own feelings and beliefs.</p><p></p><p>I hope I have not offended or driven anyone off, that would be a horrible thing.</p><p>I have read other avenues of dealing with adult d cs, there seems to be a movement towards the CRAFT program. CRAFT - Community Reinforcement and Family Training - teaches the use of healthy rewards to encourage positive behaviors. Plus, it focuses on helping both the substance user and the family.</p><p></p><p>I wonder if detachment seems too drastic for some folks. I also wonder if people are just using other avenues to deal with their situations, and would rather visit and read, and refrain from posting.</p><p></p><p>We are an anonymous site, but <em>there is some risk in putting our stories on the web.</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>In my short time here, I have seen periods of heavy activity, and slow periods. Some people have posted a couple of times, then moved on. I hope that means that they are receiving help elsewhere, or the problem has resolved somewhat?</p><p></p><p>My experience here on CD has been really helpful on my journey. Members have been very kind and reassuring, there is always a reminder that no one is an expert, just offering advice from the heart and from ones own experience. I don't know what more there could be, or could not be, but that is just me. I think if there are too many rules or restrictions it may prevent people from posting. I think it is good to treat people the way we would like to be treated and understand that we are all going through our own unique situations, what works for some, may not work for others. Likewise, posting may work for some, just reading may work for others.</p><p></p><p>Very gently I say, the term <em>lurking</em> may have a negative connotation for some.</p><p></p><p>lurk</p><p>lərk/</p><p><em>verb</em></p><p>gerund or present participle: <strong>lurking</strong></p><ol> <li data-xf-list-type="ol">(of a person or animal) be or remain hidden so as to wait in ambush for someone or something.<br /> "a ruthless killer still lurked in the darkness"<br /> synonyms: <a href="https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&biw=1222&bih=795&q=define+skulk&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin6PmyoOTLAhUhOKYKHeZuAegQ_SoIHTAA" target="_blank">skulk</a>, <a href="https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&biw=1222&bih=795&q=define+loiter&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin6PmyoOTLAhUhOKYKHeZuAegQ_SoIHjAA" target="_blank">loiter</a>, lie in wait, lie low, <a href="https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&biw=1222&bih=795&q=define+hide&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin6PmyoOTLAhUhOKYKHeZuAegQ_SoIHzAA" target="_blank">hide</a>, conceal oneself, take cover, keep out of sight<br /> "is someone lurking in the bushes?"<ul> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">(of an unpleasant quality) be present in a latent or barely discernible state, although still presenting a threat.<br /> "fear lurks beneath the surface"</li> <li data-xf-list-type="ul">informal<br /> read the postings on an Internet message board or in a chat room without making any contribution oneself.</li> </ul></li> </ol><p>Is there a better term we could come up with?</p><p></p><p>How about viewing? Viewers.</p><p>Hmmmmm, am I being overly sensitive? I don't know, it's just that like RN said people may feel apprehensive, intimidated, or even just visit to learn. I know some have mentioned they rarely post, but visit often. Some just may be so overwhelmed by their challenges that writing may be difficult?</p><p>I think that is okay, to each his/her own?</p><p></p><p>Pardon my chiming in, for there are members here that have been here and contributed for a long time. I think the forum will evolve naturally to where the need is?</p><p></p><p>Sorry for my long reply. I am off to do housework and reflect on my time spent here.I am an "over dominator" sorry everybody. I guess I can tone it down a notch and get more housework done........</p><p></p><p>I suppose my many posts could be a deterrent to some, like someone overruling a group conversation. For that I do humbly apologize. I could use the time I spend here to clean, LOL!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I do not view the members here that post often thusly. I look forward to reading others opinions and use what I find applicable in my own situation. SWOT, I always look forward to your responses! I do understand what you are saying, and would never want people to feel intimidated.......or feel like, "Well, there she goes again, that's what I was going to say........"</p><p></p><p>Okay time to get off the keester and clean. It's back to work tomorrow for me. Spring break is over!</p><p></p><p>Hugs to all</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 683147, member: 19522"] You are eloquent RN and a welcome addition in my book. I think we all just try to help as best we can, and when we post, it helps us , too. I have answered some posts with encouragement to give over difficulties and loved ones to a higher power, if that is ones belief. I do believe in God, but try not to be overly religious with respect due to others own feelings and beliefs. I hope I have not offended or driven anyone off, that would be a horrible thing. I have read other avenues of dealing with adult d cs, there seems to be a movement towards the CRAFT program. CRAFT - Community Reinforcement and Family Training - teaches the use of healthy rewards to encourage positive behaviors. Plus, it focuses on helping both the substance user and the family. I wonder if detachment seems too drastic for some folks. I also wonder if people are just using other avenues to deal with their situations, and would rather visit and read, and refrain from posting. We are an anonymous site, but [I]there is some risk in putting our stories on the web. [/I] In my short time here, I have seen periods of heavy activity, and slow periods. Some people have posted a couple of times, then moved on. I hope that means that they are receiving help elsewhere, or the problem has resolved somewhat? My experience here on CD has been really helpful on my journey. Members have been very kind and reassuring, there is always a reminder that no one is an expert, just offering advice from the heart and from ones own experience. I don't know what more there could be, or could not be, but that is just me. I think if there are too many rules or restrictions it may prevent people from posting. I think it is good to treat people the way we would like to be treated and understand that we are all going through our own unique situations, what works for some, may not work for others. Likewise, posting may work for some, just reading may work for others. Very gently I say, the term [I]lurking[/I] may have a negative connotation for some. lurk lərk/ [I]verb[/I] gerund or present participle: [B]lurking[/B] [LIST=1] [*](of a person or animal) be or remain hidden so as to wait in ambush for someone or something. "a ruthless killer still lurked in the darkness" synonyms: [URL='https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&biw=1222&bih=795&q=define+skulk&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin6PmyoOTLAhUhOKYKHeZuAegQ_SoIHTAA']skulk[/URL], [URL='https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&biw=1222&bih=795&q=define+loiter&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin6PmyoOTLAhUhOKYKHeZuAegQ_SoIHjAA']loiter[/URL], lie in wait, lie low, [URL='https://www.google.com/search?espv=2&biw=1222&bih=795&q=define+hide&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwin6PmyoOTLAhUhOKYKHeZuAegQ_SoIHzAA']hide[/URL], conceal oneself, take cover, keep out of sight "is someone lurking in the bushes?" [LIST] [*](of an unpleasant quality) be present in a latent or barely discernible state, although still presenting a threat. "fear lurks beneath the surface" [*]informal read the postings on an Internet message board or in a chat room without making any contribution oneself. [/LIST] [/LIST] Is there a better term we could come up with? How about viewing? Viewers. Hmmmmm, am I being overly sensitive? I don't know, it's just that like RN said people may feel apprehensive, intimidated, or even just visit to learn. I know some have mentioned they rarely post, but visit often. Some just may be so overwhelmed by their challenges that writing may be difficult? I think that is okay, to each his/her own? Pardon my chiming in, for there are members here that have been here and contributed for a long time. I think the forum will evolve naturally to where the need is? Sorry for my long reply. I am off to do housework and reflect on my time spent here.I am an "over dominator" sorry everybody. I guess I can tone it down a notch and get more housework done........ I suppose my many posts could be a deterrent to some, like someone overruling a group conversation. For that I do humbly apologize. I could use the time I spend here to clean, LOL! I do not view the members here that post often thusly. I look forward to reading others opinions and use what I find applicable in my own situation. SWOT, I always look forward to your responses! I do understand what you are saying, and would never want people to feel intimidated.......or feel like, "Well, there she goes again, that's what I was going to say........" Okay time to get off the keester and clean. It's back to work tomorrow for me. Spring break is over! Hugs to all leafy [/QUOTE]
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