Here we go again with Matt - only this time he will just be suspended and on the street. I feel like I am physically fighting the abject fear I have. Please send me positive thoughts and prayers - as I am really, really struggling. At work I am still doing the job of 3 people, and I am about to snap. They hired someone to help only to have them quit before they even started. It will take months to find another person, and we are going into the height of the season. I am wondering again, why me? I know it is an unhealthy question to ask - but haven't I already been through enough? I feel so terrified I cannot sleep. I am afraid to cry, because I am afraid I will never stop. I have already spent years of my co-dependent former marriage life chasing ex off the streets, and 2 weeks looking for H on the streets when she was really dead - it will break me in half to do this with Matt. It seems my only solution is to completely stop caring.