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Parent Emeritus
Surely his demise can't be far away? Sorry, VERY long!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 655633" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I remember your story Blackgnat....... and the anguish. I am so sorry. I have no idea what the appropriate thing to do is. He is fighting for his ability to stay stuck and he makes the same choices.......mental illness and substance abuse is a powerful toxic brew for some real negative behaviors.</p><p></p><p>You aren't a monster, a shell, souless,a coward or someone who threw the towel in.........what you are is powerless........what you are is burned out on trying to help someone who doesn't want your help............what you are is depleted and exhausted and out of things to try.........what you are is at the end of your rope.............it appears that there is nothing left to do........he is an adult..........realistically what can you do? Even if you bring him home, the pull of the need for the alcohol will bring him to the next poor choice. You don't get to choose where his life is going. Only he does. </p><p></p><p>When I am faced with those voices in my head spinning around crazily trying to come up with options for saving another, what has worked for me is to pray and to let go and to put that person in the hands of what my perception of a higher power is........I don't have that kind of power to save another.........don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. It isn't about you. It's about your son.</p><p></p><p>Repeat the serenity prayer:</p><p><em></em></p><p><em>God grant me the serenity </em></p><p><em>To accept the things I cannot change; </em></p><p><em>Courage to change the things I can; </em></p><p><em>And wisdom to know the difference. </em></p><p></p><p>Sending a big hug Blackgnat........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 655633, member: 13542"] I remember your story Blackgnat....... and the anguish. I am so sorry. I have no idea what the appropriate thing to do is. He is fighting for his ability to stay stuck and he makes the same choices.......mental illness and substance abuse is a powerful toxic brew for some real negative behaviors. You aren't a monster, a shell, souless,a coward or someone who threw the towel in.........what you are is powerless........what you are is burned out on trying to help someone who doesn't want your help............what you are is depleted and exhausted and out of things to try.........what you are is at the end of your rope.............it appears that there is nothing left to do........he is an adult..........realistically what can you do? Even if you bring him home, the pull of the need for the alcohol will bring him to the next poor choice. You don't get to choose where his life is going. Only he does. When I am faced with those voices in my head spinning around crazily trying to come up with options for saving another, what has worked for me is to pray and to let go and to put that person in the hands of what my perception of a higher power is........I don't have that kind of power to save another.........don't blame yourself, you didn't do anything wrong. It isn't about you. It's about your son. Repeat the serenity prayer: [I] God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. [/I] Sending a big hug Blackgnat........ [/QUOTE]
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Surely his demise can't be far away? Sorry, VERY long!
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