Things have been moving fairly quickly in the Witzend household since last I wrote. Ever since husband and I started seeing each other 27 years ago when things would go haywire with L, which was every other day for years, I would say "Let's just move. I can't stand it here." You know what has happened the last week or so with L, and of course I spent days in a funk. It took me two days to stop just being catatonic and start bawling, and of course my regret of having let the misery go on this long came out. Not just for me and husband and M - L was always the emergency of the moment for years and I'm not proud to say that I put her first - but they might not have been so cruel to her if they hadn't been so busy triangulating between each other and me with her as the hot potato. It's not the first time in the past couple of years that I've said to husband, "I should have walked away from it years ago." When L was young, husband and my parents would tell me that I couldn't possibly walk away from it, it was my duty to stay no matter how miserable things got for all of us. For the past year or so when I say "I should have walked away" husband says, "I know. I gave you bad advice. We should have moved on." Between my parents and siblings excluding me from all family functions since 1998, L excluding me from Christmas & Thanksgiving for about the same, with no contact with me on any holiday including Mother's Day since 2009, there's really no ties to hold us here. So this time when I said it he went online and started looking for work out of state. He's already had two interviews with one company and it looks promising. Some of you Southern Belles may have to help me out with how things work down there. I've had time to think about this, and L knew all along that she didn't want me to be a part of her life, she just was stringing me along when she wanted something. It also occurs to me that Dr. C's own children left home for the East coast about the time that L started excluding me completely from Christmas and Mother's Day. She had been with "B" for about 6 years up until last winter. He's the one that told her from the onset that he would never marry her and didn't want kids. It was like a date that she wouldn't go home from. I don't think she ever had a key to the house, just a code to the garage door. He kicked her out 3 or 4 times. They have a dog that they share custody of. He was a nice enough guy, he just didn't love her and understood that she was only in it for the money. When she got her inheritance last year, she moved out and it was over with B. There was a man we met last March whom she said was "the one" and was going to marry, then by April it was over and we met her now fiance N. I'm truly ready to walk away from L. I don't feel bad about it. The only thing I feel bad about is that I ignored how wrong it had gone for so long in the stupid hopes that things would ever get better. The more I know about how awful she was about me, the better I will feel about walking away. I talked it over with husband, and I sent B a text today to ask if I could talk to him. They switch off custody of the dog several times a week. He replied that he didn't really know much other than exchanging the dog anymore and asked what was up. I told him that L had asked Dr. C to be her "Mother of the Bride" and me to be a "guest" and I was done with her. That I was done with her and that I would feel better about it if I knew how much of a fool I'd been over the years. He wrote back "She's getting married?" I apologized for breaking it to him that way, and assumed that she had told him. A few more exchanges and we're having lunch tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. Do I need to change my signature line back to "Do Not Poke the Bear"?