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Substance Abuse
Suspect exh gave difficult child pot
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 60764" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>She rarely spends time with him. He lives out of state from where we are and they spend alternate Christmas/Thanksgiving with him. And a week in Summer and the occasional family event for a weekend. They talk on the phone - he only calls their cells these days as he feels that he shouldn't have to go through me by calling our home. And they chat on line. I remember just wishing he would die early so we could all be spared his presence in our lives, but I stopped doing that because I felt it created blocks in my own personal growth. I know he thinks that one day they will see him for the hero and martyr that he thinks he is and hate me for keeping him from them. I have never kept them from him. I just moved to a neighboring state (3 hours away, not too bad a drive in one day) to limit the time they spent with him for these very reasons. He was completely ill equipped to be a parent then and now. He fares much better now that all the baby stuff and childish things are behind us and the girls are more like adults now - he can handle that okay. easy child gets sick of him after one or two days. difficult child can take about 3-4 days and then she's had enough. </p><p></p><p>He isn't evil, just stupid and ignorant. At this point, I would not bother going through all the BS of the courts when difficult child will be 18 in just a few months. They will probably only see each other for a week or so within the summer months and then difficult child will start classes along with her job, so there simply will not be a lot of opportunities for them to get together. I am hoping she gets a decent job and starts making money because then she will not want to go to his house anyway. </p><p></p><p>There were a few times when they were younger girls and I didn't let them spend time at his house or overnight due to drug use or conditions. For instance, he lived in one of the top cocaine dealers house when we fist separated. I told him move or he'd never get them again. He moved. Then I witheld visitation because once when I went to drop them off, he was sitting in a pot smoked haze snorting cocaine off a mirror with his friend. When I walked in, he said, "don't worry, I'll just open the window and it will clear out in no time"....Uh, okay. Nevermind. The girls stayed with me at my friend's house and saw him for breakfast before we drove back home (yes, the 3 hour drive so HE could see them!). Loser more than evil. And another time I wouldn't let them stay with him because he had a gun rack on the wall and lived in a lofted one room house - the loft had a ladder up and down. Exh decided to run out for cheese and left his 3 and 5 year old dds home alone in a gun filled, ladder climbing loft with no rails. He locked them in. I called CPS and left it in their hands. And I denied him visitation until he moved. He moved. Haven't really had any issues since then until now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 60764, member: 2211"] She rarely spends time with him. He lives out of state from where we are and they spend alternate Christmas/Thanksgiving with him. And a week in Summer and the occasional family event for a weekend. They talk on the phone - he only calls their cells these days as he feels that he shouldn't have to go through me by calling our home. And they chat on line. I remember just wishing he would die early so we could all be spared his presence in our lives, but I stopped doing that because I felt it created blocks in my own personal growth. I know he thinks that one day they will see him for the hero and martyr that he thinks he is and hate me for keeping him from them. I have never kept them from him. I just moved to a neighboring state (3 hours away, not too bad a drive in one day) to limit the time they spent with him for these very reasons. He was completely ill equipped to be a parent then and now. He fares much better now that all the baby stuff and childish things are behind us and the girls are more like adults now - he can handle that okay. easy child gets sick of him after one or two days. difficult child can take about 3-4 days and then she's had enough. He isn't evil, just stupid and ignorant. At this point, I would not bother going through all the BS of the courts when difficult child will be 18 in just a few months. They will probably only see each other for a week or so within the summer months and then difficult child will start classes along with her job, so there simply will not be a lot of opportunities for them to get together. I am hoping she gets a decent job and starts making money because then she will not want to go to his house anyway. There were a few times when they were younger girls and I didn't let them spend time at his house or overnight due to drug use or conditions. For instance, he lived in one of the top cocaine dealers house when we fist separated. I told him move or he'd never get them again. He moved. Then I witheld visitation because once when I went to drop them off, he was sitting in a pot smoked haze snorting cocaine off a mirror with his friend. When I walked in, he said, "don't worry, I'll just open the window and it will clear out in no time"....Uh, okay. Nevermind. The girls stayed with me at my friend's house and saw him for breakfast before we drove back home (yes, the 3 hour drive so HE could see them!). Loser more than evil. And another time I wouldn't let them stay with him because he had a gun rack on the wall and lived in a lofted one room house - the loft had a ladder up and down. Exh decided to run out for cheese and left his 3 and 5 year old dds home alone in a gun filled, ladder climbing loft with no rails. He locked them in. I called CPS and left it in their hands. And I denied him visitation until he moved. He moved. Haven't really had any issues since then until now. [/QUOTE]
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