suspension from after-care?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by clisa99, Jan 13, 2009.

  1. clisa99

    clisa99 losingxmyxmind

    i need some opinions on this issue that came up today. my mom and i have been working with my 6 yr old's school, principal, teacher, guidance counselor on helping him to be able to stay in school without being sent home for getting out of control with his anger.

    today he was on "green" for the second day in a row (i'm SO proud) but when i picked him up at aftercare they said they were suspending him for 1 day because he did not want to listen and was disrespectful. at one point someone was trying to explain a rule to him and he said "that's gay".

    i asked him before we left the parking lot what did "gay" mean and he looked at me like he was clueless. hesaid the word a coupl of times like he had never heard it before!

    so i went back in because i didnt feel ok leaving just yet. i asked for a copy of the referral i signed andwas told they had tried numerous times to speak with him and he was being disrespectful. he had no idea he was in trouble because as i soon as i asked him why he was written up his mood changed.

    he was so proud he gotten on green (hadn't told me yet at this point) then he threw his backpack on the ground and refused to get in the car because he was so angry he was written up.

    i didnt focus on it because being good in class isthe most important thing he did today so i needed to praise him on that and waited to talk to him about after-school.

    i didnt think it was so i called back and told her i will talk to him about it, his feelings were hurt because the counselor refused to listen to what he had to say about someone pushing him so he got upset. however, he did NOT get physical, he did not push anything over, throw anything, cuss and ididnt think he should be suspended because he had a hard time following directions.

    what do you guys think?
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I would request a copy of the written discipline policy. What steps are to be taken before a suspension? I personally think the automatic suspension is unhealthy for your son. He is only 6 years old. How is he to learn if he is going to be pushed down so fast and hard at every bad action? I can see how he was surprised and confused about the suspension. It angered him because he is too young to think ahead that his first offense could lead to that.

    I would think most discipline policies should have a few steps building up to the suspension so no one is surprised. Something like:

    1st offense - verbal warning (explain to the child what will happen if behavior continues - I don't think they even tried telling your child he would be suspended if this continues).

    2nd offense - Staff talks to parents

    3rd offense - Management talks to parents and child

    4th offense - suspension (after parents are aware that unresolved issues with steps 1 - 3 can cause suspension).

    If you were given a parent handbook for the program, the policy should be in there.

    For staff to react to a 6 yr old in that fashion tells me that there are inexperienced staff who do not have the child's best interest at heart. They do not know how to deal with any but the most well behaved children which will be hard to find at the end of the school day. Makes me wonder how many suspensions there are in a week.
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    First thing that went through my mind is, a lot of kids can hod it together for the duration of the school day, and then fall apart right when they get home. I wonder if the day is difficult for him, being so long. But I know we gotta do what we gotta do...
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    My difficult child used to get into a lot at after school. They were so patient with him really-once he did get suspended due to fighting. I agree with BBK, a lot of our kids try so hard to hold it together all day and then can't do it anymore.

    I would be upset that they didn't listen to your child about being pushed. Also, I would ask for the written discipline policy as Andy suggested.

    Being suspended for fighting I understand, your son being suspended for language and disrespect I don't (unless it is continual and he has been given warnings, etc...).