Swollen Puffy Eyed This Am

[dirobb]

Yesterday i posted about my whirlwind. It got better. The two girls 16gfgsd and 17pcdd had been texting on the easy child phone. difficult child does not have these priviliges with her phone, we had to take it away two days after she got it for misuse. No big deal except they have been sneaking around and we are not cool with the lying part. This is not typical behavior for easy child. I collected both phones. I had a discussion with easy child. Trust. Honesty. Asked her what the pay off for her was. She got upset and said that that would be selfish. I asked her to come straight home from school. She was grounded. She spent the whole time i was talking smirking. She doesn't understand why we dont trust difficult child. (we've been working on building that trust over the last two years but it has been a slow process)

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon. I get an email(lenghthy) She is tired of this crazy house (who isn't) she need breathing room and is leaving for her grandparents home in the country. She'll make it to school. Goes on a rant about how all she can see is we don't trust difficult child at all. She's been trying not to let all of this get to her but I allowed that tio happen. Its my fault that this happened. She requested moving to her grandmothers when she gets back. She is moving in after graduation so she figures why not now.

This is so very upsetting to me. I know she wants to punish me because shes upset. But these are some of the things I feared when the difficult child's came to live with us. How were my easy child going to adjust. I agree it is very stressful here. husband is so frustrated he has started talking about sending difficult child's back to each of their moms. I know she's looking at oll of this thru 17 yo eyes and does not understand our crazy parental logic. (you know we aren't real smart)

On the heels of my difficult child 14ss pretending to been whacked out (sorry for the expression) this is just getting to be to much. I can't seem to stop tearing up and cant eat. (not such a bad thing) Normally I can find the funny and deal but this is really hard. husband and i have a therapist meeting sat. maybe i should call and set it for two hours. (we have had to do that before) I think we are just both so tired of the fight. Apparently my easy child is too.

 

[Shari]

Ya know, Dirobb, if grandma is not one to undermine and is willing, maybe it would be good for easy child to get away from the difficult child drama for a bit.

I'm sure it hurts your mommy heart, but we all want what's best for all of our kids. Just a thought.

Regardless, sending many hugs.

 

[DDD]

I'm so sorry to read that everyone is overwhelmed. It sure is an understandable reaction to all the chaotic personalitites and all the teens sharing space.

Do you think that your PCDD feels that by staying at her Grandmothers she will be able to return to her formerly peaceful lifestyle? If so, I would be apt to have a one on one conversation with her and be prepared to tell her that IF she is stressed with everyone in your household right now and feels the move will be best...that sadly
you agree to let her try it. It would be disappointing for you but if she has been a pleasure all these years, it sounds like her best interests might be served by moving a few months early.

Glad you have a therapy session coming up. Sending hugs your way.
DDD

 

[dirobb]

Thanks for the replies and hugs.

She's (easy child) home. husband is ready to call difficult child's bio to pick her up. I don't see that as a solution. But I know I'm just very tired stressed depressed and worn down.

It really doesn't have to be this hard. If i shake them really hard at this age it's no longer shaken baby syndrome, right? (j/k) Like shaking would knock sense into any of us right now.

Come on Sat......