My eldest sis called tonight. (not the one in Texas) She said she'd waited until the "flood" of calls died down to call. That was fine. And it was nice of her to call. This sis is a mega difficult child, by the way. Most of the time the gfgdom doesn't bother me, actually I'm so used to it I don't notice it so much. Most of the time. Most of the conversation went ok except it was pretty much nulled by the fact that she said if I'd really wanted to save money I should've just had husband's ashes put into a paper bag and tossed it in the trash. I would've taken her head off if it weren't for the fact she actually was trying to be nice by calling. Who says that to someone who has just lost someone they love? I mean really? Really? Now, as I've said before, my mom back in the day took great pleasure bad mouthing husband to all my sibs. What none of them seem to realize is she did the same with all the other in laws, just some worse than others. I don't see family much. On purpose. I've only seen them a few times in 28 yrs. They've spent very little time around husband. He was basically a stranger to them. For about the past several years mom has done an abrupt about face as far as husband is concerned. Evidently none of my sibs bothered to listen to that. Mom came to realize that the only thing she really ever was honestly upset with him about was taking me so far from home. Her attitude changed when I told her the move had been my idea, not husband's. Regardless, I spent all those years with the man, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that I obviously loved him. So who in their right mind would say such a thing? This is why I hope the sis in Texas has changed her mind about visiting. And why I hope my mom stays away, not because of mom but because someone will have to bring her, and I don't want to have to listen to what they might have to say. And while my mom is a major difficult child in her own right, I know she taught the other kids better than that. All it took was one comment to throw out every other thing she said.