Taking a break from this board due to the spying

[BusynMember]

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers (of all stripes)

I do have another forum I use a lot to talk about my ex-family-of-origin...a good forum that ex-sister doesn't know about. THANK GOODNESS NOBODY!!! And I do comment in a blog. I must have told Sis about his during one of those times I was talking to her. I can't believe I told her. Shows how much I wanted to believe she was ok.

I may even start my own blog. That has always appealed to me as I love to write. I would not use my real name, of course, and would be careful.

I'll be back, but I will save the sharing about my family stuff with the other site and will mostly just give my worthless .02 to anyone who wants to read it...lol. And I will read up on the goings on until then. And wishing you all good luck for the time I'm gone.

Cedar, you've been better than a therapist. Honestly, I should pay you Confused, you are my cyber-daughter and doing GREAT!!! Keep it up!!!!

BBS

 

[InsaneCdn]

Somewhere...
I had to go "off-board" for a while too.

I found it useful to still lurk - and to use private messaging to pick people's brains.

 

[Lil]

Oh I HATE this! I wanted so much to read all about your current "vacation" and meeting the little man!

Best of luck...We'll miss you!

 

[Tanya M]

This emotion icon sums it for me. I will really miss you!! You have some amazing wisdom to share. Please don't stay gone too long.

 

[BusynMember]

Well, I took a long walk and decided that if Sis wants to waste her time spying on me, I'm not going to allow her to affect my posting here. I just will mostly leave her out of here unless she does something so outrageous I have to vent and I suspect she will not anymore for a while.

I'm soooooooooooooooo excited to meet my little man!!! I will sum it up.

I will, hereafter, be a little more careful about details I give, however how sad is it that somebody from your dysfunctional family of origin (or as I call it, my DNA collection) needs you in her life, even if she was the one who did the 100th cut off. She obviously can not let go of anyone and needs to know what I'm doing and saying. I gave nothing away of her identity. I was healing my own past as I know it. I have nothing against her healing her past as she knows it, and I know she has a lot to heal and time is a-wastin. You can't be 60 and first doing this. THen you wasted your life on other people who you claim you don't even like. Maybe she even got my brother to read it. He has more of a life than her, but no SO...never did. To him, there are things I said I am very sorry for, but really he has done stuff too...that's what happens in a dysfunctional family. I'm the scapegoat. I am lucky I am. I could be them.

So, hi, Sis, if you are here. I know you can't control yourself. I get it, but... I can't help myself: Pulling a knife on my STBX????? I know it's not funny, but when I read that, I had to laugh.

As for my walk...Oh, Lil, this weather is to DIE for!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!

To those others here, I just can't let anyone chase me off a place I love. I'm glad I came to that conclusion.

Hugs to all.

How do you like the new name? I like it better!

 

[BusynMember]

omewhere...
I had to go "off-board" for a while too.

I found it useful to still lurk - and to use private messaging to pick people's brains.

I was going to do that. But I remembered my therapy and how I need to do what I like to do and not be bullied by others. Stalking is a form of bullying. If I give into it, then I have slid backward in my progress. I won't lie. I've checked her FB a few times (not often), but I did not even think to try to read posts she wrote until today. I keep telling my dad not to tell me ANYTHING about either ex-sibling. Because I believe in the paranormal I totally think one of my guardian angels guided me there so that I am aware and to remind me who not to try to tango with again. I've agreed to try again so many times.

Guess what? Remember I was angry at Dad for telling her I was having surgery. I apologized to him today and told him she was peaking at my site and that's how she found out. I feel badly t hat I blamed him. I really didn't think I was important enough to Sissy that she'd want to know what is happening in my life. But, yeah, I blamed him so I had to apologize and I did.

She did mention on her site that I've done so many things to the entire family and she mentioned our father. I talked to him today and asked him if I've ever done anything abusive to him. He said, "No."


Now...on another note. It is hard for me to be here without my hub and dogs and since my internet connection is nil in St. Louis, I can't Skype Princess and the baby or call Sonic and Jumper. Two weeks will be very long for me. But Bart really wants me to stay and I don't have it in me to go home early, no matter how homesick I get. I promised him two weeks. He will get two weeks. There is a lot to do in this singing house...lol

 

[Jabberwockey]

As for my walk...Oh, Lil, this weather is to DIE for!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!

HEhehe! Its supposed to snow Friday!

 

[BusynMember]

You take that back!!! lol

 

[Tanya M]

I like the new name. It made me think of the movie An American Tale and the song Somewhere Out There:

Somewhere out there
Beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me
And loving me tonight
Somewhere out there
Someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another
In that big somewhere out there
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky
Somewhere out there
If love can see us through
Then we'll be together
Somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

 

[Jabberwockey]

You take that back!!! lol

Unfortunately, its true. Supposed to snow Friday night. Granted, it will be in the mid to high 50's on Saturday so do the math!

 

[Lil]

You take that back!!! lol

He's joking...I think. Maybe not...But the Weather.com forecast for your neck of the woods is as follows:

Tomorrow: High 53, Low 22
Friday: High 48, Low 29
Saturday: High 44, Low 29
Sunday: High 61, Low 42 (rain)

After that it's pretty darn nice for the rest of your trip! Maybe some rain on 4/1 - but most of it will be mid to high 60's!

I'm glad you changed your mind.

Really, it's not like a single person reading your posts know who she is. What's to be so bent out of shape about?

I like your new name.

 

[Jabberwockey]

Actually wasn't joking. That's what I've heard we are supposed to get Friday night.

 

[BusynMember]

I love the 60's. And I really like both of you. You are both so nice. Wish you were closer. I'd love to have someone to walk with so I don't get lost...lol. This is a crazy subdivision.

 

[Confused]

Im so sorry your going through this with your sister. It isnt right or fair , and you know I completely understand because some of my family and the neighbors are the same way as your sis. Thats why I wanted my posts removed before I rejoined, besides sometimes I say too much. But I cant help it, I mean , this is me, I am not perfect but Im not doing any wrong either! You told me as you told everyone, we are strong, we need to push forward, we need to push faster, we cant give up, Im the mom, Im a person who needs to have a life, ignore those people! I know you wanted to give her a chance, I understand, I give many chances too. You dont say anything wrong, you dont give your real info although she found you( mine may find me) they will never be the same as us. We are different from them, and we may be unique or too different for them, who cares?

Yes, we care, we take it personal, we have the biggest hearts, we take on everyones issues, then we are expected to keep quite? Then we are expected to apologize or feel guilt? We take it anyway, I know I still do even when I have done nothing wrong. Yes I dont want my info all over the net, I said to much I cant go back. Im being more careful now too. But my point? Dont change who you are for them! Would you be happy? Yes, do what you need to, to live in a peaceful environment with them, anyone, but, dont change you!! Your also loved my many here!!!

I have read your story through the years, as many here( havent been to PE OR Substance and dont always respond to all but do read) You have been through enough in your life and deserve peace and happiness! Im glad your able to have other places to still write how you feel and share your experiences. Everyone deserves to be heard, everyone deserves to have a friend.

Thank you, with this whole board you are not alone!! You also have support like Californiablonde and all the others here have it, but a blessing for me as well. If it wasnt for you and EVERYONE else here all these years, Id be still believing everything is all my fault.

Confused, you are my cyber-daughter and doing GREAT!!! Keep it up!!!!

You left me stumped for words, you also mean a lot to me. So can I call you my cyber -mom/friend?

 

[TerryJ2]

Awwww, so glad you're staying.

 

[BusynMember]

Im so sorry your going through this with your sister. It isnt right or fair , and you know I completely understand because some of my family and the neighbors are the same way as your sis. Thats why I wanted my posts removed before I rejoined, besides sometimes I say too much. But I cant help it, I mean , this is me, I am not perfect but Im not doing any wrong either! You told me as you told everyone, we are strong, we need to push forward, we need to push faster, we cant give up, Im the mom, Im a person who needs to have a life, ignore those people! I know you wanted to give her a chance, I understand, I give many chances too. You dont say anything wrong, you dont give your real info although she found you( mine may find me) they will never be the same as us. We are different from them, and we may be unique or too different for them, who cares?

Confused, YOUR mature support means so much to me. ANd, yes, I know you know. I'm like you. I talk too much. But do you know what? We have a right to get it out and this is a harmless place. Nobody knows us or our family members and if my sister wants to hurt herself by spying, I can't stop her. She has been a major source of sadness in my life since the first time she did her cut out and kept calling the police. I honestly understand why she did it the first time, although she didn't really have to, but after that, it was her way of gaining control. She is a MAJOR control freak and if it takes the cops to get me to do what she wants, she will.

Tom remembers this.

We bought a new car so she didn't know our new address or car license plate and she was mad at me. I do not remember why (this time...there were so many times). So for a while we just didn't hear anything.

WE moved once and did not give her our address, which made it hard to call the cops as she had no idea where we were. One day, we saw Sis and her husband walking past our car in a parking lot. She obviously copied down the license plate number. This is one thing I am sure she will say is fiction. It isn't. Hubby remembers. The next day, we got a visit from the cops tracing us by license plate. She is a real piece of work. While I am a bit puzzled why brother is so cozy with her after what she has done to him, he doesn't bother me. We had a misunderstanding, which SIs and he misconstrued into just me making trouble again, and he holds it against me. Ok. No problem. I don't care. At least he leaves me alone and I doubt he reads my thoughts here, although I'm sure Sis reads them to him. On his own, he's busy and doesn't have the interest in spying on anyone. He's much nicer than her. Just leaving me alone is a kindness.

It's funny how people forget all the good times you had and all the good things you did together and for one another if just ONE incident was not a good one.

He wrote me a letter to complain once, but I can handle that. Crumble it up, put it in the garbage.

That is not the same as this.

Confused, remember how far you have come and don't let anyone make you slide back and don't believe the bad things anyone says about you. YOU know what is in your heart. They don't.

 

[Confused]

Oh wow, Im so sorry, you have gone through a lot. Your welcome and I do wish the best for you. Why some people go so far to to what your sis and her husband did, is just sad and I still cant get it in my head why they have to do things like that. Many Hugs

Im not giving up, in fact, I have some pretty crazy ideas ( owning a business one day crazy type of plan!!) where my kids can be with me and help, and I don't need to worry who will watch them, because they will be with me working and having fun, learning, getting an education!! Even if not, I got a plan B!!!