Taking deep breaths....

[Abbey]

H has decided he wants to go to counseling with me tonight for the first time in 16+ years. It's 'family night.' I'm a lot annoyed that he wants to do this NOW. I have a plan and am moving in that direction. I think that is very scary for him. NOW you want to talk? This should be interesting.

Warrior mom/wife on the move.

Abbey

 

[Shari]

Maybe reality has finally sunk in?

 

[totoro]

Well this is very interesting. I would still bring the Warrior Gear with you just in case.

I hope he realizes what he has/had and what he could lose.

 

[Suz]

It's about dang time. I can't wait to hear about it!

Suz

 

[WhymeMom?]

Guess it took him awhile to figure out you are serious........ hope you get an outcome YOU want......

 

[hearts and roses]

Well, it's always good when the other person is finally interested in...having their say, allowing you to have your say in a safe place, and just basically being 'present'. I too am excited to hear how this goes, Abbey!

But my question to you is: Are you still interested? Or have you already moved beyond in your plan making?

 

[Star*]

Sweet ears of corn......someone make sure there is no spork in your purse. I don't want to hear about it. You can type it, I may peruse it....and if it's good news I shall be elated for YOU. However, my first thought was PLEASE take all sharp objects out of your purse, and out of your mouth including your tongue. Rotation in coming. Actually my first thoughts couldn't be typed here for fear of banishment.

 

[Abbey]

All sharp objects removed. Twenty minutes to session time.

Am I interested in keeping this relationship? Absolutely not. It's all planning right now. They say patience is a virtue.

Abbey

 

[gcvmom]

Oh Abbey, I hope it's productive!

 

[Hound dog]

Abbey, I've noticed my husband doing the same sort of thing. Not counseling but behaviors that are intended to "rekindle" what has been absolutely dead in the water for 3 years now and was in the death throes for years before that.

I think you call this too little too late.

Hugs

 

[KTMom91]

How did it go?

 

[Abbey]

It was interesting. I expected him to be yawning and bored but he actually did talk a bit. What was more interesting was when we got home.

We talked for a bit which is unusual and then the ever classic H came to true form. There are a myriad of people in this group - drug addicts, alcoholics, abuse victims, abusers, etc. H says, "Well, I see that the program is to become addicted to therapy. Substitute one for the other. One wonders if the miserable guy who gave up drugs would have been better staying on them. At least he's happy." At that point I realized there was NO point in continuing the conversation, but what I was thinking was how someone with one of those issues can really destruct the people around them. I guess they don't care.

Another segment was what you grasped from your parents and what you passed down to your own children. He was rather silent during that time.

All in all, I think it was good for him to attend. Might give him some things to think about.

Abbey

 

[Star*]

H says, "Well, I see that the program is to become addicted to therapy. Substitute one for the other. One wonders if the miserable guy who gave up drugs would have been better staying on them. At least he's happy."

Logic at it's pickled best. See? I peruse. Abbers I'm so sorry. I had an inkling of ......something. Once again however no mention of YOUR happiness. Groan.

 

[hearts and roses]

Oh bother! Sounds like my H these days...doesn't believe in 12 step programs, therapy, rehab or anything labeled an addiction. He thinks my nephew, who is addicted to oxycodone and various other drugs, just needs to 'man up'. H thinks that too many people throw around the words addiction and rehab that they no longer mean anything. He thinks that a therapist's prime goal is to find something wrong with everyone so they can line their pockets. He thinks if a person was abused, they need to move past it...likewise for just about everything. No wonder our marriage counselor advised that he no longer bother coming in with me. Hahahaha~

I'm sorry that was your H's only comment. And I had wished that at least he would have been more interested in why you're going.

 

[Abbey]

Ha! I guess no lessons learned. He just asked if I wanted to go to a local pub after my 3 hour meeting tonight even though I expressed that I didn't like going to places like that last night. Answer? No.

H - You don't do anything with me anymore.

Yeah, I make the stupid decision to be drug to the Arctic where I don't do cold and don't want to do the party scene. I also don't do crafts. Not much left up here other than working and taking on other people's critters. I think I should wear the crown of poor decisions.

Men. (Sorry for the few caring guys who are on the board. Not directed at you.)

Abbey

 

[Star*]

OHHHHHH I have a collection of tiaras......ROFLMAO. Would you like one of THOSE? I'll ask Casper if he'll part with just one for his Auntie Deb.

I'll tell ya who should be crowned in MY opinion though. Somewhere a village is missing their...

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh I know I know...raising hand! I know the answer to that one!!!

idiot!!!!

 

[Abbey]

Held firm to the no. Baby steps.

 

[Hound dog]

Sorry Abbey. I guess they never do learn.

 

[witzend]

He must see the writing on the wall...