Taking time to be thankful

[TPaul]

Dear Gift from God family,
I wanted to take time to be thankful for the many blessings that have taken place in the last year. It has been easy for me as of late to allow the stress of the hustle and bustle of the holiday, the chaotic nature of moving, and the ups and downs of Bipolar Mania in our household. It at times has seemed completely overwhelming to me. At time it felt like I was coming up for a last breath. I have kept telling myself, in the back of my mind, that I needed to take time right now to stop and smell the roses.

This is my flower sniffing time!!

I am so very thankful for this board. When I found you a few months ago, (I think it has been that long, LOL) I was completely and utterly (well can't think of a word or words that completely describes my state of mind??? sufficating???) with finding out that my oldest son had BiPolar (BP) also. Wife was having lots of trouble with taking medications and was in the up and downs of bipolar mania. He was in trouble at school, in trouble on the bus, causing lots of HE?? at home. wife was spending money like crazy while on a BiPolar (BP) high, and unloading tons of anger at life right on top of me. I felt like a single drop more would drowned me. Then I found this board.

It was like a life line from a great big caring and understanding cruise ship of people saw me floating aimlessly in my circumstances was thrown my way. You not only threw me that life line, you encouraged me to grab ahold of it. To allow others to dry me off and cover me with warming blankets. Others handed me cups of things warm and nourishing. Yet others came by to check and see if I was alright. Others gave me suggestions on how to get help before I ended up back in same condition again. A caring and understanding difficult child family who will never know how much it helped and how much I truly appreciate each and every word in each post. The board is such a help and encouragement to myself and to so many others. Word can not express how I and I know others feel that the founders of this board should be rewarded!!

My most heart felt thanks and gratitude are given to each and everyone of you for your word of encouragement, words of wisdom, words of expreince and word of care. May each and every one of you be blessed in a great measure!!

Tpaul.

 

[TPaul]

I wanted to post too about taking the time personally to see the wonderful things that have happened this year for my family. We did find out about both wife and difficult child being bipolar and finding out that with medications there is help to make this condition manageable in many ways. For years I knew that something was wrong with wife, just did not know what. That I can be thankful for.

During the last year my wife and I have been able to have work, when so many have lost thier positions. I have been blessed to be able to begin my interior decorating business and have the recent client who will be a long term client and I believe friend.

We both have newer cars this year, truly thankful for that and thankful we have the money to make the payments on them, LOL LOL!!

I have 5 beautiful children who have no medical problems that som many others face. They are the light that keeps me going when the shadows slip in.

We are so blessed to be in the new house we leased this month. We have needed something larger for such a long time. In addition we are living in a neighborhood that I have wanted to life in for a very, very long time. It is quiet and will be a great place for the children to be. It was a long time coming, but it has so much that I truly wanted in a place for us. A great kitchen that will spark me to get back in the kitchen and love and enjoy cooking agian. A large family room with the fireplace that I have wanted for years. Big walk in closet in our room. A master suite, Boy I have wanted that!! with a large walk in shower that has a shower head that is high enough for my 6'3" body to get fully under, . Large two car garage, for my stuff, lol lol, I can go on and on. Yeah it we have not gotten things all up and decorated, nor truly functional yet, but we are here and slowly gaining ground. That is the blessing I keep reminding myself of, as I look at the boxes and boxes I need to get put away.

One of the biggest things for me to be thankful for, is that I am not physically where I spent so many years. I am not confined to a bid, or need a wheel chair to get around it. I can play with my kids, pick them up and love on them. I can go out and about without the need for a mobility device to make that possible. I am able to work and do the things I enjoy and love doing. I long to be able to do these things while I could not even walk across a room without help for so very very long. I am able to be a better provider for my family and that means the world to me.

I truly have so very much to be thankful for, and I will remind myself of that daily if a wave seems to be in the crashing toward me!!

Blessed
Tpaul

 

[ML]

TPaul that was beautiful! I love how you look at the blessings as well as the challenges. They are often one and the same though it's hard to see that at time. Wishing you and your family a blessed 2010!

 

[DammitJanet]

TPaul...I am sitting here in tears reading your post. I am so glad that we were here for you when you were searching for a port in the storm. Its what we do. Thats how we all came here and why most of us stay here for so long. I am convinced this place saved my life. Literally.

Reading about how you came from needing the mobility devices to working is an inspiration. I am so thrilled for you. From one chronic disorder person to another, that is just so awesome. Last year when they didnt know if I was going to regain the use of my legs, I was really scared. But with the prayers and chicken dances of this board, I made it.

May this year be even better for you.

 

[emotionallybankrupt]

TPaul, you are so right. Like you, I am thankful for improved and generally good health for me and my family, medications to help out when things aren't going so well, a relatively secure job, and a comfortable, now peaceful, place to live. Although I had to go into debt to do it, I am so thankful that I was able to finance the new roof I was desperate for a little more than a year ago.

As a single mom, I am thankful for learning I have an inner strength and determination I never would have believed 10 years ago that I had. Skills: Just learning limited use of a hammer, screwdriver, and set of pliers was huge for me! Plus learning how to find competent people and coordinate home repairs. Learning to stand up for myself and do what is necessary even when I'm scared. Learning to trust my instincts and be bold sometimes--I never dreamed I would learn to be comfortable with firearms, and qualify for my permit, while training with some of the best in my neck of the woods. I'm proud to be an elementary school teacher, a classical pianist, and a darn good shot with my .357! [Yes, stored in a very secure gun safe.]

I shared in another post that my dad (deceased) was a collector of quotes. I keep re-reading many of them. Today's: "If you break your neck, if you have nothing to eat, if your house is on fire--then you got a problem. Everything else is inconvenience. Life is lumpy. Learn to separate the inconveniences from the real problems. You will live longer and will not annoy other people as much!"

Have a great holiday!

 

[gcvmom]

Can I have an AMEN!!

 

[Estherfromjerusalem]

TPaul, I so understand what you mean. I think there isn't a single one of us here who hasn't felt like you at some stage along the line. I know that for me this group of people are what helped me carry on during my worst times. And although I do not write very much these days, hardly a day goes by without my "going on the board" as I call it. It is an intrinsic part of my life. I feel closely involved with so many of the people and care intensely about them. They have been so caring to me over the years. It is really like a warm family that put their arms around you and care for you and hold you up.

I was so happy to read what you wrote about the good things -- and they are truly good. Having a home and a job -- well, there's not much that's more important than that, except for health. Yes, you are blessed. Five children is a real treasure, too.

May you have a wonderful Xmas, and may the coming year be one of continued growth and happiness for you and your family, and for all of those whom you call the "Gift From God family." LOL.

Love, Esther

 

[Wiped Out]

Thank you for sharing your blessings! I think it's easy to forget that we have much to be thankful for when we're dealing with the dailiness of what is gfgdom! I'm so glad you found our corner of the world.

EB-I love that quote!

 

[Star*]

Dear T Paul,

Thank you for your heartfelt appreciation & love. I don't think in my life I've ever been described as a cruise ship. The Titanic maybe.... The neat thing about a family dynamic is the interesting members and the backgrounds and lives that each of us bring to our table. I'm thankful for all the insight that you have given us on your world of antiques and design. You're an awesome guy, and I'm so glad you stuck around and continue to be a part of the board.

Merry Christmas -
Many Hugs & Love
Star

 

[KTMom91]

Beautifully said, Tpaul. I'm glad you're part of the family!

 

[timer lady]

TPaul, thank you for sharing the blessings life has bestowed upon you & yours this year.

I'm interested how you went from near immobility to where you are today.

Again, thank you for sharing. It's brightened my day.

 

[graceupongrace]

TPaul,

Thank you for sharing. You may not know this, but you have given as much as you have received.

I agree that this community is a huge blessing. I don't post a lot about difficult child, but I draw great strength from the board. After a painful conversation today with a friend who just doesn't get it, I'm especially grateful for those here who do.

Blessings on you.

 

[TPaul]

Dear Timer Lady,
Don't mind you asking at all. I have had strange symptoms off and on for years. Have what was like sever muscle spasms and pain, along with reduced feeling in my arms and legs on a on again, off again basis. The would last from a few days to a few weeks and then get better for a while.

After I got married things seems to get worse, LOL LOL, I mean in a physical sense too, with the episodes happening more often and sometimes lasting longer. I did not have medical insurance so I just toughed it out and waited. I was convinced from researching in books and on the web that I had MS. So many of my symptoms and how the thing acted sounded almost exactly like MS.

After I was able to get a partial disability and medicaid about 8 years ago, I began the long series of test with many different doctors. I have had about every test that one can imagine. muscle -nerve biopsy, emg's many times, (they stick needles in your muscles and send electric impulse-which they measure from the top of a muscle to the end of it to see how it conducts) OUCH, spinal taps, mri's cat scans, so many blood test, I am glad it regenerates, , brain scans, the list goes on and on.

All of the test told us mainly on thing. While one part of a test would seem to point to my having a certain condition, another part of it, would point to another condition. With the EmG's for example, it truly looked like I had a muscular dystrophy family disease, but then the second part of it, was exactly opposite what it should be to be that disease.

I have been to an umpteen of docs, but finally found on doctor who said that I have had all the test done that could be done normally, and that I would need to be at someplace like the MAYO clinic with thier advanced testing facitilies and highly trained specialist. That takes a great deal of money and my insurance would not pay for it. So he began a series of different medications to treat my symptoms, not to try to medicate the disease. After many, many trials with different combinations of medications we found one that gives me the abiltiy to function to the degree I am at now. With out these medications, I am like a little old man shuffling around and not doing much. The combinations of two pain killers, one a narcotic, a muscle relaxer, a anti inflammitory ( and previciad to keep the stomach acid down)and over the counter tyenol three times a day I am up and about. Still not at 100% but don't complain because I am up and about and doing more than I thought I might be able to ever do again.

That's my story and I am sticking to it,
Tpaul