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Substance Abuse
Tammy Lovemysons, how are you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 633765"><p>LMS,</p><p></p><p>I think almost every human being has difficult child moments. And us moms with difficult child-PTSD tend to see those moments and think "Zebra" when they are just regular run of the mill "horses."</p><p></p><p>We put ourselves under a microscope. When it finally sinks in that our difficult child's are not going through "just a phase"- we reexamine every single thing we did for clues to when it started and where we went wrong. And we make ourselves sick over the "what ifs".</p><p></p><p>Each time one of my pcs does something out of character- even shows a soupçon of anger - I panic. Then I fret, worry and start checking up on them. If they're angry at me, it throws me into a tailspin. I always know when my difficult child is up to no good- because he starts to bristle. So now, when anyone in my house bristles, my stomach falls.</p><p></p><p>Everyone screws up sometime. It's not the screw ups that create a difficult child. It's the failure to learn from them, failure to take responsibility for them and the failure to correct them that makes a difficult child. That does not sound like your easy child at all.</p><p></p><p>As far as your parenting skills- I know you and your eldest have struggled in your relationship. By your accounts- your eldest has turned his life around and has a loving family and is a good father. The reason he has been able to do this is because you have him the basis for it. You are a dedicated mother - and despite his issues with you - it's because you are a dedicated and loving mother that he can have this wonderful family of his own. YOU laid the groundwork for that; YOU taught him how to be a good parent & gave him the family skills. Never forget it.</p><p></p><p>It does sound like your daughter is struggling inside. In your shoes, I would do everything I could to get her into regular counseling. You've all had a lot of changes lately, and perhaps she needs someone she can talk to?</p><p></p><p>Love to you, LMS.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 633765"] LMS, I think almost every human being has difficult child moments. And us moms with difficult child-PTSD tend to see those moments and think "Zebra" when they are just regular run of the mill "horses." We put ourselves under a microscope. When it finally sinks in that our difficult child's are not going through "just a phase"- we reexamine every single thing we did for clues to when it started and where we went wrong. And we make ourselves sick over the "what ifs". Each time one of my pcs does something out of character- even shows a soupçon of anger - I panic. Then I fret, worry and start checking up on them. If they're angry at me, it throws me into a tailspin. I always know when my difficult child is up to no good- because he starts to bristle. So now, when anyone in my house bristles, my stomach falls. Everyone screws up sometime. It's not the screw ups that create a difficult child. It's the failure to learn from them, failure to take responsibility for them and the failure to correct them that makes a difficult child. That does not sound like your easy child at all. As far as your parenting skills- I know you and your eldest have struggled in your relationship. By your accounts- your eldest has turned his life around and has a loving family and is a good father. The reason he has been able to do this is because you have him the basis for it. You are a dedicated mother - and despite his issues with you - it's because you are a dedicated and loving mother that he can have this wonderful family of his own. YOU laid the groundwork for that; YOU taught him how to be a good parent & gave him the family skills. Never forget it. It does sound like your daughter is struggling inside. In your shoes, I would do everything I could to get her into regular counseling. You've all had a lot of changes lately, and perhaps she needs someone she can talk to? Love to you, LMS. [/QUOTE]
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