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<blockquote data-quote="AllStressedOut" data-source="post: 72120" data-attributes="member: 3837"><p>Wow, Michelle, you reminded me of tantrums I had since forgotten about. When youngest difficult child was about 2-3 years old and bio mom would come to get him, he'd scream and throw fits. He never wanted to go. She'd pick him up and put him in the car screaming. When he was about 4, this was the last year she had him without supervision, he too would pretend choke himself. He would also bang his head against the wall at her house. During this year she only had him 4 times and then it went to supervised visititation. I'm not sure what brought it on with her. When he started school we did find out that he has trouble changing tasks, moving on, dealing with substitutes etc. So now I wonder if the change from our house to bio moms was just too great for him to deal with. Our house is structured, her house was a free for all. She'd have friends over all times of the night, men spending the night, slept til 1 pm etc. Our house, me or husband are up with the kids all day. If I'm not feeling well, husband takes over. If husband isn't feeling well, I take over. But they are never left to fend for themselves.</p><p></p><p>I'm not implying anything about your ex's house, but even if not as great as ours, your house and his are different to difficult child. I would want to sit with him and talk about differences in the two homes. If it helps difficult child he should be all for the talk and possibly some adjustments to make them more alike.</p><p></p><p>We tried several times to work with bio mom on getting her on board with what was best, but unfortunately she felt she was always right and we were the evil ones, so she refused to listen. This is why my youngest difficult child never behaved there, never used the bathroom there, always reverted to his baby ways, my middle difficult child had night terrors there and my oldest difficult child also reverted to his baby ways there. We had problems with potty training with all 3 boys until she stopped having full access to them. </p><p></p><p>Your ex sounds like he'll work with you and that is great. I count my lucky stars that my ex isn't like husband's ex. He and I, 95% of the time, work together fine where the boys are concerned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AllStressedOut, post: 72120, member: 3837"] Wow, Michelle, you reminded me of tantrums I had since forgotten about. When youngest difficult child was about 2-3 years old and bio mom would come to get him, he'd scream and throw fits. He never wanted to go. She'd pick him up and put him in the car screaming. When he was about 4, this was the last year she had him without supervision, he too would pretend choke himself. He would also bang his head against the wall at her house. During this year she only had him 4 times and then it went to supervised visititation. I'm not sure what brought it on with her. When he started school we did find out that he has trouble changing tasks, moving on, dealing with substitutes etc. So now I wonder if the change from our house to bio moms was just too great for him to deal with. Our house is structured, her house was a free for all. She'd have friends over all times of the night, men spending the night, slept til 1 pm etc. Our house, me or husband are up with the kids all day. If I'm not feeling well, husband takes over. If husband isn't feeling well, I take over. But they are never left to fend for themselves. I'm not implying anything about your ex's house, but even if not as great as ours, your house and his are different to difficult child. I would want to sit with him and talk about differences in the two homes. If it helps difficult child he should be all for the talk and possibly some adjustments to make them more alike. We tried several times to work with bio mom on getting her on board with what was best, but unfortunately she felt she was always right and we were the evil ones, so she refused to listen. This is why my youngest difficult child never behaved there, never used the bathroom there, always reverted to his baby ways, my middle difficult child had night terrors there and my oldest difficult child also reverted to his baby ways there. We had problems with potty training with all 3 boys until she stopped having full access to them. Your ex sounds like he'll work with you and that is great. I count my lucky stars that my ex isn't like husband's ex. He and I, 95% of the time, work together fine where the boys are concerned. [/QUOTE]
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