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Tears Flowing..... Unfamiliar Rehab Turf
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<blockquote data-quote="HeadlightsMom" data-source="post: 635596" data-attributes="member: 18284"><p>Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!</p><p></p><p>A friend commented last night how our difficult child "sparkles". He does. No, I mean he REALLY does. He is so beautiful and can be so loving and forgiving (intermittently). And I HATE having to qualify his loving and and forgiving side with an "intermittently" comment. But it's true. It's factual. And it hurts my heart.</p><p></p><p>I pulled out some old photos and am just flowing with tears. Dammit! I know he's in there. Sometimes I'm just so sad about what a rollercoaster it's been raising him and loving him. I have cried many tears and I'm crying them again now.</p><p></p><p>I know you all live this, too. I know you all know what I'm saying. I am SO tired of crying over difficult child. It's like a never-ending abyss over the years. But, honestly, I haven't cried over him in a long time.</p><p></p><p>But now he's in rehab, so I find myself in unfamiliar turf here, as he seems to be taking it seriously and trying. I have NEVER seen that from him re: drugs before. And, honestly, I don't quite know what to do with it. </p><p></p><p>Just processing my own emotions right now and feeling a little all over the place with it.</p><p></p><p>Crying a LOT right now. I believe in love. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in second chances (and 3rd, 4th, 5th, gazillionth chances). I also believe in reality. And in the middle of all of that lies an ocean of tears.</p><p></p><p>Just expressing as it's overflowing</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HeadlightsMom, post: 635596, member: 18284"] Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit! A friend commented last night how our difficult child "sparkles". He does. No, I mean he REALLY does. He is so beautiful and can be so loving and forgiving (intermittently). And I HATE having to qualify his loving and and forgiving side with an "intermittently" comment. But it's true. It's factual. And it hurts my heart. I pulled out some old photos and am just flowing with tears. Dammit! I know he's in there. Sometimes I'm just so sad about what a rollercoaster it's been raising him and loving him. I have cried many tears and I'm crying them again now. I know you all live this, too. I know you all know what I'm saying. I am SO tired of crying over difficult child. It's like a never-ending abyss over the years. But, honestly, I haven't cried over him in a long time. But now he's in rehab, so I find myself in unfamiliar turf here, as he seems to be taking it seriously and trying. I have NEVER seen that from him re: drugs before. And, honestly, I don't quite know what to do with it. Just processing my own emotions right now and feeling a little all over the place with it. Crying a LOT right now. I believe in love. I believe in forgiveness. I believe in second chances (and 3rd, 4th, 5th, gazillionth chances). I also believe in reality. And in the middle of all of that lies an ocean of tears. Just expressing as it's overflowing [/QUOTE]
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