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Parent Emeritus
Tears in my eyes, pain in my heart but yet i put a smile on my face
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 531595"><p>Welcome. I know you are hurting. This is a very difficult situation. But, you are wise to stand your ground. You don't have much, if ANY, choice in the matter. Your two adult children are just that...young adults. I'm sure you didn't raise them to use abusive language and behaviors with adults...never mind with their mother. It crossed my mind that perhaps their bio father is mentally ill and they also have some undiagnosed concern. Have they have been evaluated? This does NOT create or provide them with an excuse for these behaviors. If they have a sincere interest in getting to the bottom of their difficulties, you might help them receive therapy...but this certainly does not sound like the case.</p><p></p><p>You might want to consider a visist with a group like Al Anon or Families Anonymous to support YOU. There are good books out there for adult parents of very difficult "children." One I like is "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. If the emotional pain gets too much for you, consider seeing a therapist for yourself. This is a lot to deal with. Avoid (of course) being unkind, but at the same time, set boundaries and limits with your adult children who are so difficult and disrespectful. It is a hard pill to swollow, but at least for now, this is the path they have chosen to follow. It has nothing to do with you and there is nothing you can do.</p><p></p><p> Be sure to enjoy life with your husband and healthy adult child. Embrace good, healthy friends and move forward as best as you are able. Sending good thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 531595"] Welcome. I know you are hurting. This is a very difficult situation. But, you are wise to stand your ground. You don't have much, if ANY, choice in the matter. Your two adult children are just that...young adults. I'm sure you didn't raise them to use abusive language and behaviors with adults...never mind with their mother. It crossed my mind that perhaps their bio father is mentally ill and they also have some undiagnosed concern. Have they have been evaluated? This does NOT create or provide them with an excuse for these behaviors. If they have a sincere interest in getting to the bottom of their difficulties, you might help them receive therapy...but this certainly does not sound like the case. You might want to consider a visist with a group like Al Anon or Families Anonymous to support YOU. There are good books out there for adult parents of very difficult "children." One I like is "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend. If the emotional pain gets too much for you, consider seeing a therapist for yourself. This is a lot to deal with. Avoid (of course) being unkind, but at the same time, set boundaries and limits with your adult children who are so difficult and disrespectful. It is a hard pill to swollow, but at least for now, this is the path they have chosen to follow. It has nothing to do with you and there is nothing you can do. Be sure to enjoy life with your husband and healthy adult child. Embrace good, healthy friends and move forward as best as you are able. Sending good thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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Tears in my eyes, pain in my heart but yet i put a smile on my face
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