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Tears wont stop
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 707210" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>LoneMom...I'm going to play Devil's advocate here. Please don't be offended.</p><p></p><p>My son could be the guy your daughter has hooked up with. He's 21, dropped out of college (never really attended), generally doesn't work, is currently shacked up in a college dorm with a college girl who, I guess, is supporting him. He's a pothead and well...there's a reason he isn't home...you get the idea. But, he's not a BAD guy. He doesn't beat women. He hasn't been in jail. He's not into hard drugs. He's lazy. He's entitled. I'm sure he has issues. </p><p></p><p>BUT, I have hope he'll change and get a better education and a steady job. </p><p></p><p>Maybe, this young man your daughter is now with...maybe he's changing. Maybe he's changing <em>because</em> of your daughter's good example. He's just started Community College. This is a GOOD thing! So he's 4 years late...so what? Lot's of people don't go straight to college. I'm a lawyer. My husband got his degree going to college nights and on-line AFTER I met and married him 16 years ago! He's an absolutely wonderful man! Not having gone to college tells you zero about the young man. </p><p></p><p>She's a grown woman and clearly she has been a decent, responsible person to date. She is capable of choosing her own mate. Maybe she's choosing poorly, but you know what? That's not a life sentence. She's smart enough to support herself. She's smart enough to leave if he's not what she wants. She's very young. She'll likely have several relationships in her future. </p><p></p><p>You are seeing this as a disaster. It may not be. Your daughter hasn't abandoned you...she's moved on with her own life as young adults do. Try to stay positive. She's a good girl, right? Remember that. Keep communication open. You don't have to support her choice, but being judgmental will drive a wedge between you. Remember, if it IS a disaster - you want her to be able to turn to you without fearing an "I told you so".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 707210, member: 17309"] LoneMom...I'm going to play Devil's advocate here. Please don't be offended. My son could be the guy your daughter has hooked up with. He's 21, dropped out of college (never really attended), generally doesn't work, is currently shacked up in a college dorm with a college girl who, I guess, is supporting him. He's a pothead and well...there's a reason he isn't home...you get the idea. But, he's not a BAD guy. He doesn't beat women. He hasn't been in jail. He's not into hard drugs. He's lazy. He's entitled. I'm sure he has issues. BUT, I have hope he'll change and get a better education and a steady job. Maybe, this young man your daughter is now with...maybe he's changing. Maybe he's changing [I]because[/I] of your daughter's good example. He's just started Community College. This is a GOOD thing! So he's 4 years late...so what? Lot's of people don't go straight to college. I'm a lawyer. My husband got his degree going to college nights and on-line AFTER I met and married him 16 years ago! He's an absolutely wonderful man! Not having gone to college tells you zero about the young man. She's a grown woman and clearly she has been a decent, responsible person to date. She is capable of choosing her own mate. Maybe she's choosing poorly, but you know what? That's not a life sentence. She's smart enough to support herself. She's smart enough to leave if he's not what she wants. She's very young. She'll likely have several relationships in her future. You are seeing this as a disaster. It may not be. Your daughter hasn't abandoned you...she's moved on with her own life as young adults do. Try to stay positive. She's a good girl, right? Remember that. Keep communication open. You don't have to support her choice, but being judgmental will drive a wedge between you. Remember, if it IS a disaster - you want her to be able to turn to you without fearing an "I told you so". [/QUOTE]
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