Teary...

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Mouseyone, Dec 14, 2017.

  1. Mouseyone

    Mouseyone New Member

    My son, 22, who has been diagnosed schizophrenic, has exhausted his family. He lived with me until he broke my current husband's hand and kept getting arrested at my apartment complex. There have been many arrests, bail etc. He currently has an open case now. My management company threatened to evict me as they have a zero tolerance for this sort of behavior. He lived with my ex-husband (who would supply him with weed exacerbating the problem, thought he was helping so that he wouldn't abuse the synthetic weed). My ex-husband finally had enough and kicked him out. He had stolen from him, assaulted him, broken his car windows when he did not get his way.(2 cars) He does not want to adhere to any treatment program, fights tooth and nail to receive his haldol shot every month does not want therapy. I suspect he is on stronger drugs than week as he is constantly stealing from his father. His father kicked him out last week and he showed up at my door on Sunday, asking for money. I refused, however, I offered him food, which he stated he ate the homeless shelter. I did have just 4 dollars on me, which he snatched out of my hand and then told me F*** you. Twice. I have not heard from him since Sunday. I am worried, worried, worried, and struggling. I know we did the right thing. But is cold, it is snowing and my heart hurts. I am trying so hard to resist the need to rescue even in the face of his awful behavior. No one knows what I am going through with him except my immediate family. It is so hard. Thanks for listening.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    These are probably things you know, but other posters may not understand. Please bear with me, kind lady. I care deeply.

    Schizophrenics are usually psychotic and not able to understand fantasy from realty. At times they act badly.l was in a psychiatric hospital ten weeks once for depression, but a lot of patients were psychotic. It was not uncommon for the poor things to pick fights with others over hallucinations, things they saw due to psychosis or heard due to psychosis that they believed happened but had not. This is a very serious disorder and it is hard to help the patients because many believe the medicine that would help them is poisen or that the health care workers are Fbi agents that want to kill them....so they run, hide, become homeless, fight for their lives when caught. All part of the cancer of mental health and nobody's fault.


    I actually got used to seeing these fights and wanted to cry for those who were that sick. Many were thrown out because fighting was not tolerated so they were discharged sick and psychotic and unsure what they did wrong. I learned a lot about the sadness of schizophrenic while there. I talked to the patients when they were more lucid. I desperately wanted to comfort them. Suddenly suicidal depression seemed like a cold.

    But there is a big problem. Although schizophrenics are legitimately sick and often legitimately terrified that e everyone is out to kill them so that they refuse medications, they are often also too dangerous to live at home.

    It is a heartbreaking problem. So incredibly sad.
    Many end up in prison for being schizophrenic. Prison is not the best place to receive mental healthcare, but it is almost our biggested mental healthcare facility! They shut down most hospitals.

    The lucky ones find a group home to live in, get stable, and are treated for their illness as the medications improve their function. Many go back to school and work and live normal lives. IF they accept treatment. Most won't go to group homes due to paranoia. The shot by the way is a Godsend for many! Not all, but many. I know quite a few doing well on shots.

    You did nothing wrong, dearest Mom.a Nothing. You know your son is sick and you feel bad putting him out. Yet you know he can't stay with you. If you have tried to help him navigate the system to find stable housing and treatment you have done it all. I saw schizophrenics in the hospital, many fighting their medications, others better because they took them, still others who took medications but remained psychotic. I learned. I grew compassion. I saw that no one size fits all. Depression/bipolar...far more easily treatable.

    This is out of your hands. It is perhaps the saddest stories I read here because it is out of their hands too unless something happens and they are forced to get help, even when they are afraid. And there is that idiotic law about the insane, who can't think realistically, having the right to refuse treatment. Horrible law. Would an Alzheimer patient be allowed to refuse treatment??? No!

    You have much on your plate. I wish I had better wisdom. Just be at peace that this is not your fault and hope that one day your son is forced to get help and can find a nice group home. The ones in my area are excellent. I try to advocate for the younger mentally ill, like your son. It is hard to work with those who won't take medications and are psychotic...so as an older, smaller woman like me I work mostly with those suffering from mood disorders. But I do get to see the facilities.

    I pray for peace for you and help for your son. If you don't pray just ask your higher mind to guide you well. There is no right or wrong in your situation. There is only hope. Where there is life, there is hope. Always.

    Love and hugs.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2017
  3. Mouseyone

    Mouseyone New Member

    Thank you for your words of wisdom. Yes, I have tried everything. Leaving it in God’s hands. But still so very sad.