Teen run away in custody- FINALLY

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Chele, Oct 26, 2007.

  1. Chele

    Chele New Member

    I want to share an update on my son who ran from the detention center last Monday. After five LONG Days of worrying, I got a call from the Gatlinburg police that he was caught today shoplifting. I made the police handcuff him before I told him anything else to insure that he would not get away again.
    I feel such a relief that this is all over. I just can't express myself. I think it's an eating out and relaxing night tonight at my favorite restaurant- Red Lobster. YUM...

    Now we only have to deal with the following charges at court next Tuesday. Wonder how much time he will be incarcerated for this time. Take a look--
    Stealing beer, Alcohol possession. ( Under age)
    Probation violation, resisting arrest.
    Stealing something today( I forgot to ask what)

    I just hope they charge and treat him as a minor and not as an adult.. Thank you all for your encouraging words and guidance. I will share what the judge says next Tuesday. I sure hate this for him but sure love it for the rest of the family. We will have some peace in our house for the first time since he was in jail last July. I hope all you have a good weekend.

  2. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Relief!!!! Enjoy your dinner.
  3. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    Too bad for him it wasn't all worth it but hopefully he'll be away long enough to make a choice to change his life- finally!! Thank God you know he's safe tonight. Good job, mom, hanging in there and staying strong!

    Now it's time to relax...

  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    I was thinking about you and him today. I am glad he was picked up. Now we know he is safe.

    Enjoy your dinner! Keep us clued in.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    What a great attitude you have. I admire your strength and courage. Go warrior mom! (Sometimes being a warrior you have to concede defeat!)
  6. KFld

    KFld New Member

    You have tremendous strength and courage. You are doing everything right. I'm glad you know how to take care of yourself through all of this.

    Hope you enjoyed your dinner. I think you will be an inspiration to many on this board.
  7. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I too admire your wonderful attitude. Your a poster child for detachment. LOL.

    My mother in law used to always find more peace when her son (MY brother in law) was incarcerated than when he was running the streets. She knew where he was, that he was alive and had a roof over his head.

    Now the long wait for the wheels of justice to grind out his consequences. I pray that they do whatever it takes to get him on a better road.

    Thanks for the update.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    What great news to hear that he is alive, well and still has years ahead to change his life around. I truly know it is painful to deal with all these issues, but compared to the ugly
    alternatives...this is terrific. Sending hugs. DDD

    PS: Did you have one of thos vanilla ice cream, warm apple
    deserts with the carmel sauce???????? Drool....
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Glad he is found and in a relatively safe place. Rest up enjoy yourself and heal. -RM
  10. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    love Red Lobster.
    glad he is back.
    hope he gets real help this time.
  11. Chele

    Chele New Member

    Thank you all for your kind thoughts and words. Dinner was great last night. We even told the waitress that we were celebrating our son getting arrested. She didn't quite get it a first but finally understood. At least it was a big laugh just to see the look on her face when we first told her.
  12. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    I was LOL about you telling the waitress you were celebrating. I do understand.

    What a relief to know that he's safe. Sad but true that once they are locked up, we at least know where they are.

    Sending hugs your way. I know it's hard.

  13. DFrances

    DFrances Banned

    A lot of kids will run away from a state detention center. They are over crowded and do nothing but warehouse children. If you can find the resources, get your son into a private facility so he has a chance at life. Sounds as if he has given up on himself. How sad!
  14. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    I believe Chele's son does have a real chance at life, regardless of the facility he's in. It's out of his parents hands now and he needs to make the choice himself, regardless of his surroundings. He has parents that love him and that puts him far ahead lots of kids.

    I don't usually speak up like this and my intention is not to be mean, but my first thought was that dore's remark implies that if Chele doesn't get her son into a private facility, he doesn't 'have a chance at life' and that's just not true.
  15. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Sorry Dore - but there is not enough empirical evidence to support your position. Recidivism rates are about the same for kids who attend private residential facilities and those who go through the juvenile court systems.

    If you look at the child's hx ... he has already been in two rehab facilities. Sometimes families run out of the financial means to keep their kids in private institutions. Sometimes it is in the best interest of the child to face real world consequences for their repeated poor choices.

    by the way - 'lots of kids run away from' private facilities too. Recovery can not be forced. Recovery must be desired.
  16. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Sorry, but really have to laugh at the idea that kids are safer in a private facility. Many kids ran from the one my daughter was in. To say this facility was in the boonies was putting it mildly. There wasn't even another house within 2 miles of her facility. One girl managed to get halfway across the country to a friend's house. Another got off the mountain and was found 250 miles away. Most were found within 10 miles of the facility but at least 50% tried to run at least once and this was truly a good facility with individual and group therapy, onsite school, a fairly well-trained staff that obviously cared about the kids. Barring a totally locked facility, kids will run if they so choose. It doesn't matter if there is nothing but kindness and love shown or total abuse or complete apathy, a child who feels no need to be there or who just resents being there will run.

    The chance is up to the child. If they work the program, they can get help. If they choose to fight the program every step of the way, there's not much a facility can do. This is true whether private or public.

    Chele, I hope your son gets the message and understands just how much he is loved. May he find the strength to look at himself and see ways to help himself. I wish you and he the very best.
  17. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    My dtr was in a lockdown facility in Utah and kids still managed to run once in awhile. And this was a highly regarded, very expensive Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Speaking of that, many parents cannot afford a private facility! We had to take out a bigger loan for that Residential Treatment Center (RTC) than we did for our mortgage on our house and I am not sure it was worth it in the end. The 2nd rehab our dtr went to was a state run one and she actually thinks it was the better place. She did try to run from it but didn't get far.

    I think what Dore doesn't understand is that none of these kids want to be in rtcs or rehab. It may be where they need to be and they may work the program or fake their way through but they do not want to be there. I think my dtr learned a lot of skills she needed and she did get her GED but she was always wanting to leave. She also learned how to talk the talk even better than before she went in (she was a master at psychobabble) so she was very convincing that she had "changed."
  18. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    I would not pay one speck of attention to anything Dore has to say. Pretend she is not even here. I think she is a troll with an agenda.
  19. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    I agree with you, BBK. I don't know why I let her comment bother me, but it really did. I'll try to keep that in mind from now on!!
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Dore, your professional opinions are noted, but they ARE opinions, just as the rest of ours are. Manyof us have personal experience and have spent years worth of time researching this stuff. We may not have your degrees, but we ARE capable of intelligent comment. Just because we do not put our kids in private facilities every time they get in trouble does NOT mean we don't care. It means that NOTHING works until the CHILD cares. NOTHING, no matter what will work until then. For my own son, I had to subject him to the legal system.

    Most of us have other children to care for and provide for and protect. OFten we have to protect them from the difficult child. Judgement is never warranted here.


    I am so happy that your son was found and is safe. I totally understand celebrating.

    Sometimes there is truly nothing we can do to help our child. LEtting them experience the world with-o the buffer of mom, dad, or $$$ is the best thing for them.