Greetings! I'm new to this site and I really just need some guidance. My husband and I have been together for going on 7 yrs. He has 2 children from a previous marriage, and I have 1 from a previous relationship. Ss is 14, sd is 17 and my biodaughter is 8. My skids have been through hell with-bm and her new husband ,and so much so, that the biofamily (bm's mother/sister/stepf/father...etc) have gone through financial crisis, familial discord and separation, illness..just to name a few. My relationship with skids started rocky, because we only saw them eow, but 2 years ago- they moved in with us full time. Sd and ss revealed their bm/stepfathers inability to financially stabilize, drug usage, alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse...the list goes on. Thing is, I've an amazing relationship with my sd. I've tried to bond somehow with ss14, but he's actively disinterested. He barely acknowledges me, defies me when no-one is around, ignores me and talks to his bm all the time on the phone. He's non-emotional. At all. I saw him cry once: because his daddy grounded him from his cell phone. He's antisocial, won't make friends, but ironically has a "girlfriend " with whom he's constantly messaging, and has his face stuck in his phone. His grades are awful, and I've tried to help him, and he pretends that he cares, but the results are that he didn't care at all. His attitude is 'quit if it gets too hard.' His father tries to talk to, encourage him, but the kid still doesn't try to change anything. This kid "acts"sad, and his dad feels bad because he couldn't be an active part of their lives when bm left and took the kids 4 hrs away. We've been made clearly aware that bm has influenced this little boy so much that it's obvious he's afraid to have a relationship with me. It's like an overly aggressive loyalty bond. I don't know how to cope with this. I love these kids very very much, but it's frustrating.