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General Parenting
Teens' Defiance Wrecking Our Home
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<blockquote data-quote="JRC" data-source="post: 719542" data-attributes="member: 21147"><p>CH2017, sometimes I've found that advice on this board is a little strong and, especially if someone doesn't read the original posters words carefully, it can really miss the mark. Also, people can often see solutions for other people through their own lens of experience which can be helpful or not helpful at all. Take what you will and don't feel as if you need to explain yourself or be defensive--although I can certainly see why you might feel that way. </p><p></p><p>Your step sons sound like a total program. And I agree that a therapist is really important. Getting them there will take a lot of will power and strength, but don't give up on them yet. At 13 they are still little boys. A-hole little boys it sounds like but still very young. I would hesitate to send them away to school just yet only because they are clearly working out the issue of being dumped by their bio mom. Just my armchair psychology. </p><p></p><p>I do get that you don't feel safe. Have you thought about a wilderness program for the summer? And I don't mean the kind that is like boot camp, but one that works with kids to help build them up, not tear them down. </p><p></p><p>These are just of the top of my head thoughts. I also want to suggest that you find a therapist for yourself. These are big, big issues for your family and you. You need a person who is working on your best interests as well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JRC, post: 719542, member: 21147"] CH2017, sometimes I've found that advice on this board is a little strong and, especially if someone doesn't read the original posters words carefully, it can really miss the mark. Also, people can often see solutions for other people through their own lens of experience which can be helpful or not helpful at all. Take what you will and don't feel as if you need to explain yourself or be defensive--although I can certainly see why you might feel that way. Your step sons sound like a total program. And I agree that a therapist is really important. Getting them there will take a lot of will power and strength, but don't give up on them yet. At 13 they are still little boys. A-hole little boys it sounds like but still very young. I would hesitate to send them away to school just yet only because they are clearly working out the issue of being dumped by their bio mom. Just my armchair psychology. I do get that you don't feel safe. Have you thought about a wilderness program for the summer? And I don't mean the kind that is like boot camp, but one that works with kids to help build them up, not tear them down. These are just of the top of my head thoughts. I also want to suggest that you find a therapist for yourself. These are big, big issues for your family and you. You need a person who is working on your best interests as well. [/QUOTE]
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