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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 709390" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>I'm a large, 5'10" and I won't say how many pounds, woman. I think I have a air of confidence most of the time. That is to say I stand up straight, I look people in the eye, I don't have a hesitant manner. I do know I can be brusk. I have a voice that carries; one of those voices you can hear over a crowd when I'm speaking at a perfectly normal level. It was great when I was in front of a jury...not so much in any other workplace.</p><p></p><p>I start with that because I apparently intimidate people. I don't know why, truly, and it hurts me - it hurts my heart to think people don't like me because of my voice and appearance. I'm a NICE person. I really am as nice as I can be to people. I try. I first found this out when I learned my sister-in-law's parents didn't like me. According to my brother, I intimidated them. I'd met them exactly twice; at my brother's wedding and at Christmas - when I'd bought them a gift, just because! </p><p></p><p>Anyway, at work I've had clerks more than once who complained that I was "mean" or "yelling at them". I cried the first time I was told by my boss that someone complained I was "rude and condescending". I made an extra effort to be polite and friendly and smile and speak more quietly.</p><p></p><p>But then I got a FORMAL complaint that ended up in my personnel file that was a complete LIE! I had a day with nothing to do. Literally, all my work was done. I was so bored I took work BACK from my clerk to do myself, freeing up more of her time. I was complaining about having no work and joked with the attorney in the next office, "I better be careful. Next thing I know I'll be buried in work!" My clerk reported that I had said, in a loud, rude, voice, "FINALLY my clerk gets to work!" or words to that effect. I had said NOTHING of the sort! In fact, she never even GAVE me any work that day! I barely spoke to her at all.</p><p></p><p>The worst part is that was backed up by someone else! So at least two people reported this and they have never told me who. You aren't allowed to know who complained about you, only that there was a complaint and what was alleged.</p><p></p><p>None of them even work here anymore, having moved on to other jobs. It was four years ago - and it still bothers me to this day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 709390, member: 17309"] I'm a large, 5'10" and I won't say how many pounds, woman. I think I have a air of confidence most of the time. That is to say I stand up straight, I look people in the eye, I don't have a hesitant manner. I do know I can be brusk. I have a voice that carries; one of those voices you can hear over a crowd when I'm speaking at a perfectly normal level. It was great when I was in front of a jury...not so much in any other workplace. I start with that because I apparently intimidate people. I don't know why, truly, and it hurts me - it hurts my heart to think people don't like me because of my voice and appearance. I'm a NICE person. I really am as nice as I can be to people. I try. I first found this out when I learned my sister-in-law's parents didn't like me. According to my brother, I intimidated them. I'd met them exactly twice; at my brother's wedding and at Christmas - when I'd bought them a gift, just because! Anyway, at work I've had clerks more than once who complained that I was "mean" or "yelling at them". I cried the first time I was told by my boss that someone complained I was "rude and condescending". I made an extra effort to be polite and friendly and smile and speak more quietly. But then I got a FORMAL complaint that ended up in my personnel file that was a complete LIE! I had a day with nothing to do. Literally, all my work was done. I was so bored I took work BACK from my clerk to do myself, freeing up more of her time. I was complaining about having no work and joked with the attorney in the next office, "I better be careful. Next thing I know I'll be buried in work!" My clerk reported that I had said, in a loud, rude, voice, "FINALLY my clerk gets to work!" or words to that effect. I had said NOTHING of the sort! In fact, she never even GAVE me any work that day! I barely spoke to her at all. The worst part is that was backed up by someone else! So at least two people reported this and they have never told me who. You aren't allowed to know who complained about you, only that there was a complaint and what was alleged. None of them even work here anymore, having moved on to other jobs. It was four years ago - and it still bothers me to this day. [/QUOTE]
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