Ten days can seem so long!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Mar 21, 2008.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Something tells me I should have just let her stay with S no matter how uncomfortable I was with the whole thing. She's still pushing my buttons to the nth degree.

    Had Wednesday, Thursday and today off. I let her use the car to put her application in for the apartment, including picking up her roomie so they could go together. She came home, asked what she could do around the house. I told her cleaning her room and bathroom would be nice and maybe dust and vac the living room. She did the living room. A huge plus there all the way around.

    At 11:30 pm, she asks to take the car to Wal-Mart to look at furniture. Um, no. Why not? Cause I don't trust you to just go to Wal-Mart. Your roomie doesn't have a car and I don't want you driving around with him in it. The usual arguments, tirade, guilt attempts. I just ignored her. Then it was, "Guess I'll have to take the scooter." OMG -- The scooter at midnight. It goes 35 mph max. The road she's travelling is 45-55 depending on what stretch. I swallow hard and tell her that's her choice. I can't stop her. Then it's "you care more about your car than me!" and "I don't when I'll be home" (repeated 3 times). She did say she would be home to go with me to take her cat to the vet for spaying.

    So, this morning rolls around. No child. I search for the car keys and then search some more. I finally call her. She calls me back -- keys are on her bed. Excuse me???? Why are MY car keys on HER bed? Get the feeling she really thought it would be okay to take my car out at midnight? arghhhhhhhh Of course, she doesn't show up in time to help with the cat but we get there okay without her.

    I just called her to see if she actually had her scooter or had left it in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Scary thought either way. The road she'll have to drive on is very busy. I'm so trying to detach from my worries and fears on this one. Obviously, saying several prayers that she'll get home okay. Anyway, she says she'll be home soon. I told her it didn't matter. "Why?" "Because we'll end up fighting." "Why?" I explained she said she would be home to help with the cat. "You said I'd either be there or not so thought it didn't matter." "I guess your word really doesn't matter to you." Oh, well. She'll get here whenever. I probably won't be home since I have to pick up the cat, go to a get together, meet friends for dinner and mah-jongg. Probably for the best.

    by the way -- Her room is a mess and I sincerely hope no one needs to use the guest bathroom since it has her clothes, underwear, trash all over the floor. And she wonders why I'm not happy to live with her?

    I really wish she could understand that her word means nothing to me. She's broken it so many times. Even more importantly, I wish she would understand how important keeping your word is. She wants trust but does nothing to earn to it. If I say something, she gets defensive and starts raging.

    I really can't wait til April 1st but it really seems so far away right now. This is one fool of a mother who is going to celebrate the release from all the tension, drama and resentment.
  2. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'll have a bucket of Pacificos at the pool next week, and wish you were there with me! In the meantime, you can start planning what you are going to do with her bedroom when she's gone. Store your quisinart? ;)

    I'm sure that she is making you nuts! But, ten days, and counting! Woo hoo!

    She could shop online and have her stuff delivered. Overstock.com delivers just about anything for $2.50 or thereabouts. It's better than hauling a sofa home on your scooter!
  3. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi MB,
    I feel your pain! This so reminds me of how my difficult child 1 was when she lived at home--now I remember why she was so hard to live with! I can tell you, living on her own has made her grow up and I really enjoy talking to her now and when she used to live in our town I even enjoyed it when she came to visit. She would ask if she could have a drink of water, rinsed dishes and put them in the dishwasher, was very grateful for anything I did for her. Hang in there!!!