Terrible Afternoon, Great Session With The therapist

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Bunny, Feb 4, 2011.

  1. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I posted yesterday that difficult child just lost it completely over the fact that I mistakenly told him that his therapist appointment was on Wednesday instead of Thursday. So, after he calmed down and came up with a solution to the problem I sent therapist an e-mail warning therapist that difficult child was in one of those moods and that while he was calm at that moment I didn't know how he was going to be once we got there, and I proceeded to let him know what happened here at the house.

    After difficult child calmed down he came to me and told me that he didn't want me to tell therapist what happened that afternoon (too late!). I asked him why he felt that way and he said because he knew what he did was wrong. I told him that since he knew what he did was wrong I expected him to make better decisions in the future to avoid what we had experienced that afternoon.

    Fast forward to the therapist appointment. I was telling therapist about the appointment with the psychiatrist earlier in the week and that we were going to raise his dose of Rsiperdal. I told him that for the most part, difficult child was doing better, but that he still had issues with control, like when things don't go his way, when he doesn't get what he wants, when people makes mistakes and things are not what he expected. therapist then tells me that he wants to work with therapist alone, which is normal.

    A little while later, difficult child comes out of the office and says to me, "I think that therapist knows that something happened today." I asked him why he thought so and he said that he just did. "He wants to know if I want to talk about it," he says to me. "What should I do?" I told him that I thought telling him what happened would be a good idea because if therapist knows what is happening at home he can help him to find ways to avoid repeating those behaviors in the future. difficult child asked me to come back into the office because he wanted me there when he talked about it. So, I went back in with him and we both told therapist what went down in the afternoon. difficult child would not tell therapist that he threatened me (therapist already knew that anyway because I had told him in the earlier e-mails) but he did admit that he said alot of things that he should not have said.

    I have to say that for difficult child this is HUGE!!!!! In the past, whenever we have gotten to a point with the therapist that gets close to a nerve with difficult child he completely shuts down. He either gets silly and is impossible to work with, or he gets angry and storms out of the office. So, that fact that he sat there, calmly talked about what he did wrong, and was part of the conversation about how to fix it was amazing.

    As rotten as I felt when I took him into the therapist, I felt better when I was taking him home. Even the therapist looked as me and said to me, "Do you know what just happened here?" We were both pretty stunned.

    A new leaf, maybe?

  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Wow! I don't want to jinx or anything - but wow! What great progress!
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It is a sign that he is growing and learning. He won't be able to do this consistently for a while, maybe a long while, but it shows HUGE progress and great promise!! Proud of you for not giving in and letting him stay home and proud of him for going and discussing things calmly.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    I keep looking for the "like" button!!!!!!
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That really is a huge milestone -- to be able to acknowledge his part in it and accept responsibility is a major hurdle. :) He's bound to have bad days, but at least you know that somewhere in his head he is truly "getting it." The rest will come, even if it does seem slow. It's a process that time, maturity and continued therapy sessions will undoubtedly help.