Terrible difficult child morning

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Oct 9, 2013.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    This morning was rough. I've been waking up at 2 in the morning the last few days and I can't get back to sleep. I lay awake having anxiety which makes it even worse. This morning was no different. I was wide awake at 2 and not feeling tired one bit. Then difficult child suddenly wakes up a few hours later at five. She gets out of bed and starts looking for her cell phone. She can't find it so she freaks. Starts screaming and crying and shaking me while I'm laying in bed. Tells me I have to help her look for her phone NOW cause without her phone she will D-I-E. I figure I'm already wide awake anyway, so I agree to help her look so she will calm down.

    I look everywhere. Behind the bed, underneath the couch cushions, in my purse, in the kitchen, everywhere. Her phone in nowhere. She ramps up with the screaming. Tells me there is no way on this earth she is going to school without her phone. I tell her she is going to school regardless. She flat out refuses. Then she goes in the bedroom, still crying her eyes out, and shakes easy child till he wakes up. Demands that he has to help her look for her phone, since he is always so good at finding things. She has a point there. easy child always seems to find stuff in the oddest places. Still I tell her easy child still has another hour before he has to wake up so she needs to let him sleep.

    She tells me I HAVE to make him help her. I am his mom, afterall, and I can make him do anything I want to. easy child tells her flat out he is not helping her look for it. She continues with the screaming. Tells him if it was him who lost his phone, wouldn't he be freaking out like she is? He calmly tells her no, I can live without my phone if I have to. Afterall, what did kids do 20 years ago without cell phones? She continues to scream at him. Asks him how he could possibly live without a cell phone and have nothing to do. He tells her he would just read his books instead of playing on his phone, no problem. She screamed at him that she hates reading and books are for losers. Then she suddenly starts attacking him, yelling at him and cursing. Calls him an ungrateful brat.

    She then jumps on top of him and grabs him by the hair. He retaliates and punches her in the stomach and bites her. I jump in to intervene and I get hit in the head in the process. difficult child is still screaming and crying and carrying on so I text my boyfriend, who is at work by this time, to ask him if he's seen her phone laying around anywhere. He texts me back and tells me no, he hasn't seen it, and asks me why I'm worried about it anyway since it's her responsibility. He has seen difficult child at her worst and he should know better than to ask me a question like that! I tell him she has been throwing a tantrum for an hour and he says ignore it. Yeah right! Ignore screaming, crying, hitting, and pulling hair?

    At this point I don't know what else to do except go back in the living room, where difficult child swears she left it last, and begin searching again. Finally I find it underneath my purse of all things. I looked in my purse the first time around but never thought to look under it. I give it to difficult child and she immediately calms down. By this time it's almost time for me to start getting ready and the kids still have another half hour before they have to get up. difficult child goes back to bed and I decide to take a long, warm bath to help relax me.

    I am nice and calmed down after the bath, and I attempt to get both kids up to start getting ready for school. difficult child starts in right away, telling me she's too tired because she woke up at five. I tell her that's not an excuse. She fell asleep last night at 8:30 and eight and a half hours is plenty. She continues to argue with me and says she can't make it. She appears to be wide awake and not tired one little bit. She tells me she wants me to pick her up later on my lunch break so she can at least make it to one class. She already missed most of yesterday, plus I am going to the bank on my lunch break today so I couldn't pick her up even if I wanted to. She keeps arguing with me.

    Asks me if she can at least miss her first period class. Wants me to leave work at 9 in the morning to come pick her up. I tell her of course work is not going to let me leave in the middle of the morning and please stop with the nonsense. She tells me she hates first period. First period is her history class and she doesn't like that teacher or the class. I still tell her absolutely no way can she miss a class just because she doesn't like it. She then tells me she wants to sit up in the front office for first period and sleep. I tell her they are going to send her straight to class if they see her sitting around the office. She then asks me if I can "let her" sleep there. Ummmmm no!! Of course I would get in trouble if I did that.

    She then tells me that while I'm at work, she is not my business. Yes she is my business, because I work in attendance and if she ditches class it is MY problem! Finally I get so sick of arguing that I take the cable cord out of the TV so she won't be able to watch it, then I take her cell phone and put it in my purse. I tell easy child to put his shoes on so we can leave. difficult child then begrudgingly decides to go to school since she won't be able to watch tv. We stop by the donut store on the way to school, and difficult child asks for a pumpkin walnut muffin. Normally I don't let her get muffins since they are huge at the donut store and about 500 calories. Donuts, on the other hand, are about 250. We are both on Weight Watchers so I tell her no she needs to get a donut like everybody else.

    She starts throwing a fit in the store in front of everybody, so finally I relent and let her have the darn muffin. We get in the car, she takes a few bites, then tells me she is having anxiety and can't eat. So the muffin was a waste. I finally drop of easy child at his school, we get here, and now she is hopefully in her first period class. I have a feeling she is going to be spending a lot of the time in the nurse's office or visiting the school psychiatric today. Later after work I have psychiatrist appointments for both my kids, meaning our whole night time schedule is going to be thrown off. I hate late doctor appointments but it was the only time he could see all of us, and both my kids really need to see him at this point. I am already wanting this stressful day to be over!
  2. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Wow, what a morning... what can I say? Bravo for surviving it. Does it help to think there is just three more years of this and then....?
    I also wake early in the morning and often can't get back to sleep so I sympathise. I've a feeling using the computer at night doesn't help.
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    I hate mornings like that. How did she do at school today? Good for you for making her go to school!
  4. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well trouble started at school like I had a feeling it would. difficult child came up to my counter later in the morning and was very upset at me. She said she felt sick and went to the nurse's office to throw up. The nurse kicked her out of her office and told her to use the girl's public restroom. difficult child is self conscious and doesn't like to throw up around other kids. Plus, as stated in her IEP last year, she is supposed to go to the nurse's office to throw up. difficult child has two stomach ulcers, and when she vomits she needs to be monitored to make sure she is not throwing up blood. I have to check her vomit when she throws up at home, and the nurse is supposed to check it at school.

    A bleeding ulcer is dangerous and even life threatening so she has to be closely monitored for any blood or dark liquid in the vomit. I have no idea why the nurse has such a big problem with my daughter this year and why she suddenly changed the rules, but difficult child accused me of knowing about the change and agreeing to it without her knowledge. She accused me of being a liar even though I told her otherwise. She demanded I go into the nurse's office and talk the nurse into letting her go in there. This is the mean nurse that does not like me, and I wasn't about to go into her office and demand difficult child be allowed there. I told difficult child I couldn't make the nurse change her rules. Thankfully the school psychiatric walked by and heard difficult child arguing with me. He asked her why she was so upset. She told him the reason, and he was just as confused as I was. He was in the same IEP last year that stated difficult child will go to the nurse's office anytime she is sick. He was unaware of the rule changes just like I was. He told her the same thing I did. It's the nurse's office and we can't go against her rules. He then offered for her to come into his office and throw up. difficult child said that would be fine as long as nobody else was in there. The psychiatric assured her she would have some privacy.

    Off they went, and I saw difficult child about ten minutes later being escorted back to class by a teacher's aide. A little bit later the school psychiatric came up to me with difficult child and asked if I could excuse her for part of 6th period because she was in his office. I wrote difficult child an excused note and sent her back to her last class of the day. I don't know why she was in there. I'm assuming it was due to anxiety. psychiatrist appointment is later today so we'll see if he prescribes something for the anxiety and we will also talk about alternative placement for difficult child. I am super stressed right now and really don't feel like doing anything, but my kids need this so off I go in a couple of hours.
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    One good thing happened today. My biggest difficult child student is leaving! He has terrible attendance, and when he is here he is very disruptive and hiding out so he doesn't have to go to class. His mom is an adult difficult child. She does not appreciate my calls at all whatsoever and says so. She uncooperative and rude. The principal is sending him to a different school. Now I don't have to stress out about calling his mom again. Yayy!