Terrifying and Heart Breaking Event

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 1 Day At a Time, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. It is with great sadness and heaviness of heart that I post this. Yesterday afternoon I was going about my laundry chores and I heard a horrific commotion from the house next door - it sounded like the teenage girl who lives there was having a complete and total meltdown. It was such a heart rending sound I ran out into the pouring rain to see what what happening, if I could offer assistance. Sadly, I could not. The whole neighborhood filled with police and emergency vehicles and the area was cordoned off. Hours went by with police and GBI officers taking photographs and going through the house bit by bit.When I went to bed last night around midnight, they were still there. I knew in my heart something terrible had happened but the police weren't talking and none of the neighbors knew anything.

    This morning the news had a photograph of the neighbor's eldest son in their headline story and the reporter said that he was being sought in the stabbing deaths of his father and grandfather. We are absolutely in a state of shock. We have known this family for over ten years. The father was an assistant principal at a high school several counties away . He was the soccer coach for one of our local soccer teams - easy child played on the team with his son for several seasons. His son had been at our home, swimming in our pool, playing with the neighborhood kids.He was an incredible basketball player. We watched him grow up.... We had no clue that he was having any problems at all....

    Just when you think that your own plate is very full, everything is brought into sharp perspective by an event such as this. The neighbor who I knew was a kind and gentle man, who always, always asked how difficult child was doing each and every time that I saw him. Please send positive thoughts an prayers of support to this family in their time of incredible need...
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a tragic story. How helpless you must all feel. We have just had a similar thing happen here.

    Sending positive thoughts to this family.

  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    Oh, that is so horrible. Sending prayers out to the family, the neighborhood, the community. Heartbreaking.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry for the great pain you must be experiencing at this tragic loss. Please know I'll be holding your family, your neighbor's family and your community in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. Peaceful

    Peaceful New Member

    What a tragedy. The best thing we can hope for out of tragedy are lessons learned.

    I'm so sorry for this happening next door to you and needing to go through this with your family. Thoughts and prayers for you and them.

  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Sending prayers and hugs for all.
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    What a heartbreak. You just never know what pain a family lives with behind closed doors. My condolences to them and hugs to you who has to live day in and day out being reminded of the tragedy.
    You are right to remind us that despite the heavy hearts we all may have that there are tougher paths to walk than the one we walk. It's easy to get weary.
  8. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    How very sad and traumatic. It must be so unsettling for the whole community.

  9. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I saw that story on our local news today. How sad and shocking that you live next door to the family.

    I'm so sorry for your loss of your friend and neighbor. I don't know if you have lived here long enough but about 15 years ago the son of a popular football coach broke into his parents house and started stabbing his mother in her sleep. His father woke up and tried to defend his wife and the son started stabbing him, too. The mother was able to escape but the father was killed.

    The son is in jail and the mother refuses to see him. They had an older daughter who was a total easy child.

    Your neighbor's story reminded me of that case. They said on the news that the son was estranged from the family. Sounds like a difficult child situation to me.

    Sending hugs.

  10. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member

    This is very sad and heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
  11. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I'm so sorry. As Fran said, you never know what kind of pain others are going through behind closed doors. My heart goes out to your neighbors and to you and your family too. WFEN
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, no. OMG. She must have found them ...

    So bizarre. You never really do know. How horrific.

    Hugs. The shock will stay with you for a long, long time. I hope the girl gets a lot of support.
  13. Terry,

    It's true, she and her Mom did find them. The girls and the Mom had taken a short trip away from home and returned to find the Dad and Grandad. Little by little, more of the story is being revealed to us. I had thought that they were all out of town for the holidays because I didn't see the youngest daughter bringing their little dog out for a walk as usual.

    Kathy, I was living here 15 years ago, and the story you relate does ring a bell. Each and every story like this is terrifying and so sad to me. But, like easy child said today, "You never expect this kind of thing to happen next door - it happens to other people". easy child has been very overcome with this. He's needed to talk a lot about it and we have been there for him.

    In spite of everything, we hope that the son can be found and taken safely into custody. Of course, we are so frightened that he may try to come back home - but the house is under heavy surveillence. We had thought that he was away at college, but news reports make it sound like he was known to frequent an area of town where there is lots of drug activity. Additionally more information is coming out about police visits to the home for domestic violence involving the son. It's so shocking - we live just next door and we never knew about the police calls. But, being the parent of a difficult child - I know all about keeping your family troubles to yourself....

    Thanks to you all for your thoughts and prayers for the family and the community. The healing will definitely take a lot of time.
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This is horrible and so sad for an entire family- and I thought we had problems. I wish we could do something to help them.
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Very tragic! Prayers for the family.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    So horrible - You're right - puts a lot into perspective.

    AND YOU! Running outside after hearing a child crying is honorable - but I am so glad you were not hurt.

    Just so sad - hugs and prayers.
  17. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very sorry. It is heartbreaking for the entire community when this happens. I hope you and your family will stay safe. I know your heart aches for the family and for your loss of that safe feeling at home.


  18. PersonalEnigma

    PersonalEnigma New Member

    How awful! The poor family. I can't imagine what it would be like to have something like that happen. It really brings things into a new light when tragedy happens so close to home.
  19. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

  20. Another update on the unfolding saga regarding the murder of my next door neighbor...

    The son was found when a police officer pulled him over due to erratic driving 200 miles from home. So we are relieved to know that he is alive and in custody. Additionally the newspaper reported that the son has had an extensive criminal record developed over the past five years -some of which includes domestic violence and burglary of his parents home. Eventually all of the various charges were dropped except one and he ended up serving time for that one (due to violation of probation). He was discharged from jail in March of this year and promised to get treatment for his serious mental health problems which included diagnoses of biopolar disorder and schizophrenia. Like so many people with these illnesses he apparently complied with treatment and then fell into old patterns of behavior. His parents had fought for appropriate treatment for him, time after time. But he was 22, and they could not force him to comply.

    This story terrifies me even more when I consider my own difficult child and his future. I am so angry that this senseless crime happened when it could have been prevented. These parents were trying to do everything they could to help their son, and, apparently, the last judge he appeared before told him so. I have known for some time now that our mental health system needs serious rebuilding.We need to reconsider that junction where a patient's right to refuse treatment and the safety of others intersect. Apparently the son had attempted suicide while he was in jail. I believe this showed his seriousness about committing violent acts. Yet, his attorney in his last offense wrote in his brief to the court that he "was only a danger to himself". I think that many cases that have been highly visible in the media in the past few years have shown the error of that type of thinking. One other was right here in Atlanta where a mentally ill prisioner overcame a female deputy and ended up killing several people - one of them a judge. And yet, we persist in allowing mentally ill people who desperately need treatment to either refuse the treatment or resfuse to comply with treatment.

    Ok, I'm off of my soapbox for now. But as you can tell this situation has shaken me to the core. Thanks for listening and again, thanks for your thoughts and prayers for my neighbors. They are in great need.