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Text message from Difficult Child that may make you laugh (I hope so)
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 665247" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Seeking this is my take. I think it would have been enough to leave it an expression of love and hope. With the rest, unsaid. The last part he experienced as a twisting of the knife, I would guess. That you guys have wrested the power from him, and he is now at a disadvantage to you.</p><p></p><p>The thing is, a relationship infers equality and reciprocity with nobody having a power advantage, hopefully.</p><p></p><p>He knows what is required of him. You do not need to tell him.</p><p>He is very smart and articulate is he not?</p><p></p><p><em>If it were not just more warmed over insults, </em>I for one would be curious to know what it is he believes I have not yet learned and need to.</p><p></p><p>I know that your son has long tried to abuse and insult you.</p><p></p><p>The thing is there has been so much water under the bridge that each of you expects an attack from the other and tries to get in the first blow, it seems.</p><p></p><p>What will tell you that he is changed? How would he demonstrate to you that he respects you?</p><p></p><p>If there was a way to cut through the defense on both sides, there may be desire on both of your parts to try again, at some point. How would you know when is the time?</p><p></p><p>I do not know how that point might be reached, where there is safety. But it looks to an outsider like you are acting as opponents, and each fears the other may want complete submission.</p><p></p><p>That may or may not be true.</p><p></p><p>I will throw in a mixed lot of metaphors here. Somebody might want to some day put up a white flag or extend an olive branch. Or throw in the towel. Just to begin communication, again. Or not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 665247, member: 18958"] Seeking this is my take. I think it would have been enough to leave it an expression of love and hope. With the rest, unsaid. The last part he experienced as a twisting of the knife, I would guess. That you guys have wrested the power from him, and he is now at a disadvantage to you. The thing is, a relationship infers equality and reciprocity with nobody having a power advantage, hopefully. He knows what is required of him. You do not need to tell him. He is very smart and articulate is he not? [I]If it were not just more warmed over insults, [/I]I for one would be curious to know what it is he believes I have not yet learned and need to. I know that your son has long tried to abuse and insult you. The thing is there has been so much water under the bridge that each of you expects an attack from the other and tries to get in the first blow, it seems. What will tell you that he is changed? How would he demonstrate to you that he respects you? If there was a way to cut through the defense on both sides, there may be desire on both of your parts to try again, at some point. How would you know when is the time? I do not know how that point might be reached, where there is safety. But it looks to an outsider like you are acting as opponents, and each fears the other may want complete submission. That may or may not be true. I will throw in a mixed lot of metaphors here. Somebody might want to some day put up a white flag or extend an olive branch. Or throw in the towel. Just to begin communication, again. Or not. [/QUOTE]
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