Thank You All.....but

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by DDD, Jan 23, 2008.

  1. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    It really means so much to know how many of you took time to lend your support. Knowing that you are not alone facing awful circumstances really is a comfort.

    I wish I could tell you that Board power brought the end to the saga but it didn't. The SAO insisted "a year and a day" or "back on probation" were the only two choices. easy child/difficult child opted for back on probation as he is
    sincerely concerned that in his diminished capacity he would not feel safe in the State system.

    The Judge asked easy child/difficult child at least four times "are you sure that you want to do this?" "Do you understand?" The PD was then asked if he had explained the agreement to easy child/difficult child. The PD said that he had explained it and wanted to go on record that he was "gravely concerned that the complex terms of probation were too much for easy child/difficult child.

    The Judge said "the Court has received communication from the Grandmother regarding this issue and if you would like she can address the Court at this time". I did address the Court and although I wanted to
    scream and yell and cry and carry on...I behaved like a Guardian Ad Litem for my child. I tried to be brief but I covered every aspect of the
    case, the details of the brain injury ramifications, the need for rehabilitation, the test results from the expert etc. I told the Court that easy child/difficult child was given a choice between prison or resumed probation by the
    SAO and that due to his brain issue the probation seemed to be the better choice.

    In conclusion I said "Your Honor I have sat in your Courtroom on many occasions and many Defendants have so many case numbers on the docket that it is difficult to read the charges without getting hoarse. My
    grandson has one charge from before his accident. He has no history of violence. He has technical violations due to the impact of his injury. Fifty percent of people who fall 3 stories die. He lived and we are very grateful for his physical recovery. He needs to get training for the future. I believe you have the power and the compassion to decide that
    ten or twelve local months is more that sufficient for an undocumented
    "appearance of inebriation. Thank you for the opportunity to speak."

    The Judge said (bottom line) "my job is not to negotiate pleas". I am aware of the brain damage issue. The Defendant has been asked and replied on numerous occasions today if he wants reinstatement of probation. He has replied yes. Therefore, Mr. X, your probation is reinstated under the previous terms. Good luck to you. May I suggest that if you are debating whether an action is appropriate or not that you
    reach out to your Grandmother who obviously is devoted to you and obviousy intelligent enough to guide you."

    And THAT ladies, is "law and order" real life style.

    I'm waiting for a call to go pick him up and "take him home". I'm going to take a couple days break again to fall back and regroup. From the bottom of my heart...I thank you all DDD
  2. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Well, at least he is coming home. I'm sure being on probation again is going to be like constantly walking on eggshells. I hope he will turn to you as the judge suggested and ask your advice being making any decisions.

    For now, enjoy his homecoming!!!
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I am so very sorry. I'm truly sitting here with tears in my eyes. It really sounds like the judge wanted your grandson to say no to probation.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I wonder what would have happened if your grandson had refused the plea? I think the judge has the power and just didn't want to use it. I am sorry. I know this will be a rough year.

    We are here for you. HUGS, Susie
  5. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Phew, I am sure you are glad he is coming home!
    Can ya chain him to the kitchen table for the next year so he doesn't break probation?:D

    I realize it will be like sitting on pins and needles. Perhaps he truly understands and wont want to mess up, and puts forth every effort to stay out of trouble, and this whole episode will finally be over.
  6. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Could have been worse, but the "system" just doesn't get it.

  7. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member

    Well, the bright side is that he's coming home. I agree with Gotta - can we just chain him to your kitchen table?

    I'm so sorry, my friend, that the judge didn't come through with what we thought was a better plan - for easy child/difficult child to be able to move forward with getting better.

    At least he'll have your positive influence there to guide him. I'm sure you're spoiling him with a nice cooked meal about now.

    Give him a squeeze from his Auntie Deb.

    Hugs and good wishes,
  8. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Even though the probation could be too much for him, I do think it's the lesser of the two evils. I think it was you who said previously that if he were to go to jail, he would be in danger.

    Is there any type of program locally (or someplace that PO would agree to) that he can go for brain injury rehab? (Sorry, I know there's a name for it but it escapes me at the moment) Even if it doesn't cover the full probation, it's something that he needs and it could also act to keep him out of trouble for at least part of the time.

    Sending hugs and good wishes for the next year.
  9. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    I guess I'm sort of amazed that the Judge doesn't have more of a say so in these matters.

    Like Deb said, on the bright side....he's coming home. Get those wings a cookin' !

    Good to take some time and regroup.

    Sunny hugs my friend.
  10. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    I am glad he's coming home, and sorry for the ongoing saga that will be your bad drama to play out.

    I think the judge was correct in that he has no power to negotiate plea deals...BUT weren't the parties PRESENT IN THE COURTROOM who DID have that power! Hello!!

    As you re-group, know that your Team is here and ready to back you up! Will he come to live at your house? Will he go to his (shriek!) mom's?
    Thinking of you! :warrior:

  11. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Just wanted to send hugs............
    I know how hard this journey is.........I pray somehow that one day at a time it will become easier.
  12. Coookie

    Coookie Active Member

    Sending you gentle hugs my friend. :sad-little: No words of wisdom but add me to the list of those that are here for you.
  13. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Well Madame GAL - You certainly gave a difficult speech to that judge giving him cause to know at the least you are a fantastic Grandmother. I am so glad you were able to address the court and keep your cool. I don't really have a prize for you but :flowers:

    Justice WAS served if ONLY from OUR OWN LADY LIBERTY! .:liberty:

    I'm glad YOUR SON is out of jail. Sending many many positive vibes your way to cover and blanket your home.

  14. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    Oh, DDD, at least he isn't where the derelicts can get him. You can provide a home for him once again and maybe, just maybe, he'll grow up a little more. I think you are a terrific person and a true warrior mom.

    TYLERFAN New Member


    You are some Kinda Warrior Mom!!!!!!

    (what happened to the little icons we used to have? I don't see them anywhere?)


  16. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the pats on the back. I'm trying to chill. I'm actually trying to decide whether to fall back and regroup in an appeal. I don't take to injustice very well....especially when aimed at the disabled/needy. The arrogance of that SAO is like salt in a wound.

    Meanwhile, I'm reviewing Detachment #101 as I just can't get over the
    fear that "they" will get easy child/difficult child again, accuse him of wrongdoing, not make any effort to prove it...and then say with his mounting point count
    he needs to be sent away.

    Maybe I need to purchase Paranoia in Parents #101. LOL. DDD