I'm new here, but have to say thank you!! It's so helpful to read archives and realize that I'm not alone, and as bad as it may have gotten from time to time others are dealing with worse. That there is always hope and that there is a place to come and vent where everything I say is understood is very comforting!! I have a 27 y/o difficult child "C". I posted on another forum and was directed here and I can see this definitely where I need to be. I need to be strong and make the hard decisions but don't think I can do that 'cold turkey'. I'll have to ease into it. "C" recently came home for 2 weeks after being out of the house for 3 years in AZ going to tech (sound engineering) school and in NY trying to find work. I of course supported him through most of this and in fact moved him around the country, till he found a girlfriend to take the place of mom. She however, had as many issues as "C" and the relationship got violent so he asked to come home..He's moving in with a friend who owns a construction company and will provide work but C must get his license back and a vehicle (2 DUI and multiple driving with-o a licence). We're a bit rural, so a car is a necessity if he's going to work..so of course the question is how much do I help? He's in a bit of a catch 22...do I help with some rules about paying me back? Do I really think he will? I know though through these boards and with your support I'll work through whatever decisions I make. husband is active alcolohic so no emotional support there. He knows I prefer he stay out of making any decisions as his answer is always to kick C to the curb.. I think perhaps it's time for me to find my own therapist!!