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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 678640" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>SoooTired. A spa day sounds fine.</p><p></p><p>You are in control with your daughter, any moment you choose to be. Nobody, I mean nobody could tolerate her constant complaints about her life, and refusal to take responsibility for any of it.</p><p></p><p>I have told my son: I do not want to hear your complaining relentlessly about things that have remedy, that you have chosen and continue choosing not to change. I will only talk about that which we both want to hear. I tell him goodbye if he breaks my rules. He has learned to not cross me, if he wants to talk.</p><p></p><p>I believe this is good for the both of us. I feel more peace. He feels more self-control. Actually he expresses pride in himself that he is able to comply. Really.</p><p></p><p>If we do not set limits with them, we do not model for them self-respect and boundaries. They lose respect for us. And their self-contempt grows. They begin to hate us for this, a little bit, no matter what they say. I believe this.</p><p></p><p>You are changing. You are doing this. It is slow for all of us. It has to be. We love them too much to risk it. But we do. </p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 678640, member: 18958"] SoooTired. A spa day sounds fine. You are in control with your daughter, any moment you choose to be. Nobody, I mean nobody could tolerate her constant complaints about her life, and refusal to take responsibility for any of it. I have told my son: I do not want to hear your complaining relentlessly about things that have remedy, that you have chosen and continue choosing not to change. I will only talk about that which we both want to hear. I tell him goodbye if he breaks my rules. He has learned to not cross me, if he wants to talk. I believe this is good for the both of us. I feel more peace. He feels more self-control. Actually he expresses pride in himself that he is able to comply. Really. If we do not set limits with them, we do not model for them self-respect and boundaries. They lose respect for us. And their self-contempt grows. They begin to hate us for this, a little bit, no matter what they say. I believe this. You are changing. You are doing this. It is slow for all of us. It has to be. We love them too much to risk it. But we do. COPA [/QUOTE]
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