This is about Jess, but I am posting here because it is a problem with some of the difficult children also. Something clicked for me yesterday. We have been intensely frustrated by this issue since Jess was maybe four. She will spent up to a few hours doing chores around the house when asked to do a specific chore. Not the same chore each time, and often she isn't able to tell us why. I say isnt because I dont think she knows they herself.Evem of the chore is under five minutes, she will spend far longer periods of time doing other chores. Why it can be so dang hard to do a simple chore but you happily. and totally without prompting of any kind, spend way more time doing way more work?? Yesterday I realzed I was going about changing this the wrong way, and I have been for years. So I tried something to change it. I was looking at the situation as though the chore was the real issue. I have done all sorts of things, including having her keep track of how long it took over several days/weeks, then to try to break her record, my record, etc. That sure didn't work. Even sticker charts for the specific chores didn't work. Finally it occurred to me to praise not the completion of the assigned task, or the quality of the work, how long it took to do it, how much easier ti was to do the chore compared with the hours of work did to work to get out of the job. She is aware of all of those things. I started praising her for doing what I asked her to do. Of course I thanked her for doing a good job,, but I also made a point of being specific with my praise for doing what I asked. Maybe odd, maybe not, but she 'perked up' aka seemed more confident and generally happier and proud of herself. This may seem little and strange to point out or be happy about, but it truly seems as though this may be what is needed.I know today she was making an effort to do the chore that she has been working around, and having me notice both the hard work and the specific chore seemed to make a difference.