Thank you so much

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JLady, Dec 11, 2008.

  1. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    I want to thank all of you so much. I've been reading and reading and reading here and it is really helping me to understand so much more. My son is doing great. He hasn't been in trouble for 3 weeks at school. If you remember, when I first posted I was worried about his emotional state. This week he hasn't been emotional at all and I'm starting to wonder now if he needed more time on the medicine or if he was just having some bad times. Saturday was awful but the rest of this week has been great. Don't get me wrong, we still have issues and my anxiety levels shoot through the roof when we can't get him calmed down but he is doing better. Just not getting the calls from school daily is awesome.

    We go back to the pediatrician tomorrow for a 30 day check up and then to the child psychiatrist next Wednesday (17th). After reading about some of the medications and side affects, I'm thinking maybe the medicine is doing a good job. After all, he is behaving in school. Right?

    I think my lack of knowledge is the hardest thing about this. I'm also learning that if I don't like what a doctor has to say, I can get another opinion. I am the mother and I do know my child. I almost feel as if I am able to "parent" my child now because I can get his attention. He made two batters of cookie dough last night all by himself. He never completes anything and it is so good to see him feel good about what he is doing. He also brought a book to me the other night and read it. Reading his homework has been a constant battle of "I can't read". The changes are amazing.

    I didn't mean to get long winded. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for what you contribute here. It really has opened my eyes to a lot of different perspectives. I'm really glad I found this place.
  2. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Hi JLady,

    We haven't "met" yet and I haven't had a chance to read your previous posts. However, I'm glad you found us. This board is made up of many wonderful, knowledgeable, and caring people. I only wish I had found it when my difficult children were alot younger!

    I'm glad that you've already learned lots of stuff by reading what others have written. I'm also glad your difficult child is having a good week! It's great that his medication seems to be helping! If you've found the right medication or combo of medications, in my humble opinion, it is half the battle. I know from personal experience, that prior to difficult child 1 being properly medicated, nothing worked. Once his psychiatrist gave him the right combo of drugs, there was a positive change in his behavior.

    And, I agree with you - You are his mother, you know your son the best. If you're uncomfortable with the therapist, psychiatrist, etc., then shop around. Ask us as many questions as you want. We're here to help. Just remember to take what you can use and disregard the rest.

    Once again, welcome to our little corner of "cyberspace." WFEN
  3. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    When the calls stopped coming from school....It seems like only yesterday.
    And it is wonderful watching a child begin to emerge from the prison of their
    unbridled impulses to someone who can decide to finish things and form a plan to finish even longer things over time.
    The strengths our children have are bedazzeling. I remember when my son had
    started treatments and began to have success in school and engage in friendships there. And then award ceremony when he recieved achievement awards that he didn't know about. The look on his face was worth all the effort and all the struggle that I as a parent went through.
    Persevere and find joy, Mom. It is amazing. Good job.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm also learning that if I don't like what a doctor has to say, I can get another opinion.


    I am the mother and I do know my child. I almost feel as if I am able to "parent" my child now because I can get his attention.

    Yes, very true. We had our son on an elimination diet for months and he continued to eat all the wrong things. His hands just didn't stop moving. After we put him on Adderal, we had much more success with-his diet because not only did he stop grabbing things, he started listening.

    It's hard to say whether to medicate a child, but sometimes it's obvious after the fact. :)
  5. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    We go back to the doctor tomorrow. You know... It's almost as if the teacher is now over the fact that he has calmed down and now she wants to complain about everything he does. He was making noise in the hallway today. He is a child you know. 7 years old. Do they want perfection? What ever happen to choose your battles. Am I suppose to punish him or something? I don't think so! Kind of really ticks me off.
  6. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    J;ady: It was appropriate for my adhd learner for the teacher to devise ways so that he could get up and move around through the day. Wipe the board,bring out the books, take this note to the library and come right back.
    In middle school when he was really struggling with boredom and antsy
    the teachers had him read in the hallway. Eventually it came up in an IEP meeting that he seemed to like to sit in the hallway and read, preferring it to
    classtime. And the vp said in that meeting "I am not getting my name in the papers for stopping a student from reading"

    The possitive things you can do at home are to reinforse the message in a good way so that your child considers that making noise in the hallway
    disturbs the teacher and the other students. Learning to be quiet when the teacher wants quiet is very helpful....and I am hearing that you are doing a better and better job of being very very helpful. Way to go big guy!

    What seemed to be the biggest factor was that my son did want the approval and it was important to him that he was getting it right.
    There for you can do it and ...and how do you feel knowing you did just what teacher likes? I am so proud of you.
    In the literature I read the idea that the achievemnt learned while medicated wouldn't persist into non-medicated times didn't sit well in my mind. However when the high metabolism resulted in a sudden change on a daily basis I do have a clearer idea of what the differance is and how that is a particular challenge for my son. Fortunately he has talked about it so
    it is truly another area where his own compitance in accepting and coping with the reality of his needs is developed over time.
    Having a treatment that works is a special Joy Luck club and I am very happy to welcome you in it.
    Thank you God, for every mirical and every means by which we recieve them.
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I'm so glad you're seeing improvement.

    Just a few things -

    1) With difficult children we ALL need to be prepared to look below the surface to find exactly what IS going on, so we can deal with it more appropriately. And by ALL i mean teachers too. Maybe it was a flippant comment about the teacher not wanting to stop a kid reading (and keeping some informality and humour can be necessary for some of us) but it does need to be clear - what is joking, and what is real. If a teacher makes such a comment in jest, they need to follow it with "But seriously, folks" and then deal with it appropriately.

    2) Yes, some teachers are never satisfied. They also have short attention spans. A kid can improve out of sight and they want the child to suddenly already have attained the next level of perfection. Not fair, and generally unrealistic.

    3) A Communication Book might be a way to help and to compromise. It also means you AND the teachers get to share information FASTER (ie same day, or next day) which also means more information, and more accurately too. It's amazing just how much better it can make things.

    4) When anyone recommends books, especially expensive books, look for them in your local library first. It saves outlaying money for something that MIGHT be good, or it might be trash. I remember when some bloke (Ratbag!) was working with me to help me with my sudden disability and recommended I read "Love your Disease, It's Keeping You Well". I am SO glad I didn't buy it! And that bloke is so lucky I didn't get to read that book until after our sessions were done - I would have brained him with the book and cheerfully laughed through the process. I would have also sent him the bill, if I'd bought it.

    It sounds like you're making great progress. Way To Go!

  8. lillians

    lillians lillians

    our son now 17 ,, and doing ok,, had a very bad time in public school with adhd and tourretes he made noises and the teachers wouldnt tolerate it with the adhd he moved all the time,,still does,,he spent most of the time in the hallway or office phone calls every day,, it was horrid,,, one year a teacher just liked him,-- and took the time to see what it was he was needing i beleive it was grade 6and thru the class time she would send him on errands to the office or for a run around the trac,, if in class if he became noisy she would ask him to come to her and do a wee job --sharpen pencils ,, sometimes all she needed to do was go by him put her hand on his shoulder,, calming him as he is very tactile needs touch,, most teachers cannot go that extra mile ,, dont know why its smooth and works,, always quiet in voice ,, and always as kuind as she could be with many meetings with us,, i hope all parents have a teacher such as she was,, it will set the path for future teachers,,