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<blockquote data-quote="LoveHer" data-source="post: 706461" data-attributes="member: 21307"><p>I found this site 1-14-17, my daughters 24th birthday. I spent all day going back and forth with her on when she was coming over. The same thing happened on Christmas. She decided she was "ready" at 8:30 that night, just like Christmas. She made the comment you can come get me now but I don't want to hear anything. She knew she had blown me off all day. I replied, to be honest I am disappointed. I could have just went to pick her up but I'm so beyond tired of tip toeing around her feelings and life. She then sent me a long message ranting and calling me judgemental, and decided not to see us. I felt at fault once again. The short story about her: she is 24, no job, no license and no permanent home. Admitted past drug use and diagnosed ADHD. </p><p>I wanted to comment on your post because this is all knew to me. It has evolved over the past few months. My husband and I have always supported her. She did go to college and work for a couple years after high school. </p><p>She moved out for the second time the first week in December because we were tired of her not working, not finishing school, just being a bum. We told her if she left, we would not support her financially anymore. And we haven't, even cut off her cellphone. It has been an up and down roller coaster ever since. She and I have always been super close and she is my favorite person in the world. In a matter of months, I feel like I don't even know who she is anymore. We raised her with great values and my family is very close knit. She has disregarded my entire family at this point. I feel like she is involved in drugs or has some type of mental illness we were never aware of. She has gotten mixed up with a bad crowd of friends who enable her. </p><p>Last Saturday, on her birthday, I was at my wits end. I stumbled across this site and have been reading ever since. I have read a lot about detachment this week. Your post has given me the courage to detach. I think it may be the only thing that can save her. </p><p>I am broken, scared, and doubt every decision I make with her. But until she is ready to seek help, I can't continue to engage and destroy myself. I don't know how I will do it but I'm glad I found this site.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="LoveHer, post: 706461, member: 21307"] I found this site 1-14-17, my daughters 24th birthday. I spent all day going back and forth with her on when she was coming over. The same thing happened on Christmas. She decided she was "ready" at 8:30 that night, just like Christmas. She made the comment you can come get me now but I don't want to hear anything. She knew she had blown me off all day. I replied, to be honest I am disappointed. I could have just went to pick her up but I'm so beyond tired of tip toeing around her feelings and life. She then sent me a long message ranting and calling me judgemental, and decided not to see us. I felt at fault once again. The short story about her: she is 24, no job, no license and no permanent home. Admitted past drug use and diagnosed ADHD. I wanted to comment on your post because this is all knew to me. It has evolved over the past few months. My husband and I have always supported her. She did go to college and work for a couple years after high school. She moved out for the second time the first week in December because we were tired of her not working, not finishing school, just being a bum. We told her if she left, we would not support her financially anymore. And we haven't, even cut off her cellphone. It has been an up and down roller coaster ever since. She and I have always been super close and she is my favorite person in the world. In a matter of months, I feel like I don't even know who she is anymore. We raised her with great values and my family is very close knit. She has disregarded my entire family at this point. I feel like she is involved in drugs or has some type of mental illness we were never aware of. She has gotten mixed up with a bad crowd of friends who enable her. Last Saturday, on her birthday, I was at my wits end. I stumbled across this site and have been reading ever since. I have read a lot about detachment this week. Your post has given me the courage to detach. I think it may be the only thing that can save her. I am broken, scared, and doubt every decision I make with her. But until she is ready to seek help, I can't continue to engage and destroy myself. I don't know how I will do it but I'm glad I found this site. [/QUOTE]
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