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That sinking feeling...
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 633329" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>My husband and I just had a talk. We've determined the following.</p><p> </p><p>First, We're actually not angry - just disappointed.</p><p> </p><p>Second, We're going to tell him if he's decided to actually go, he can. The rule that he can only use the car for going there to apply stands. IF he gets a job, he can use the car ONLY to go to work and back until such time as he gets a paycheck and pays his own way. we will say nothing more to him about work unless he initiates the conversation. However...</p><p> </p><p>Third, Whether he chooses to go back there or not, he is expected to have a job by October 1. We aren't planning (at this time) to kick him out. But we WILL stop providing things for him. He has always been a very picky eater. We will stop buying things he prefers. We won't buy soda we don't drink or anything of that nature. We'll stop buying his cigarettes. In short, he gets a place to live and food - but it's food we eat. He doesn't like whole grain bread and fresh veggies and turkey? Too bad. We're not buying white bread chicken patties and hot dogs to suit him.</p><p> </p><p>Our biggest worry is he is doing something illegal. We've always thought his "friend" was selling...since I saw a Facebook post he made about "restocking" while he was in the city. He is not allowed in our house for that reason. But we have no proof. Our son is being told that if we even suspect he's doing something like that, we will take the car back even if he's paying his own gas. (Until then he won't be driving it.) We will not lose that car even if it is a heap because there's something illegal in it. He's being reminded that if he gets arrested, he <em>will</em> sit in jail and bail will not be made under any circumstances.</p><p> </p><p>We haven't noticed anything missing from our house...but we haven't really been looking either. If we find he's stolen <em>anything</em>, he will be kicked out of our home.</p><p> </p><p>We don't actually know or even seriously suspect he's dealing or stealing. But there's been little things, like fast food wrappers in the trash when he has no money - he says the other kid treated him - we have no way to know what he gets up to when he goes to "hang out" with this other guy. It worries me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 633329, member: 17309"] My husband and I just had a talk. We've determined the following. First, We're actually not angry - just disappointed. Second, We're going to tell him if he's decided to actually go, he can. The rule that he can only use the car for going there to apply stands. IF he gets a job, he can use the car ONLY to go to work and back until such time as he gets a paycheck and pays his own way. we will say nothing more to him about work unless he initiates the conversation. However... Third, Whether he chooses to go back there or not, he is expected to have a job by October 1. We aren't planning (at this time) to kick him out. But we WILL stop providing things for him. He has always been a very picky eater. We will stop buying things he prefers. We won't buy soda we don't drink or anything of that nature. We'll stop buying his cigarettes. In short, he gets a place to live and food - but it's food we eat. He doesn't like whole grain bread and fresh veggies and turkey? Too bad. We're not buying white bread chicken patties and hot dogs to suit him. Our biggest worry is he is doing something illegal. We've always thought his "friend" was selling...since I saw a Facebook post he made about "restocking" while he was in the city. He is not allowed in our house for that reason. But we have no proof. Our son is being told that if we even suspect he's doing something like that, we will take the car back even if he's paying his own gas. (Until then he won't be driving it.) We will not lose that car even if it is a heap because there's something illegal in it. He's being reminded that if he gets arrested, he [I]will[/I] sit in jail and bail will not be made under any circumstances. We haven't noticed anything missing from our house...but we haven't really been looking either. If we find he's stolen [I]anything[/I], he will be kicked out of our home. We don't actually know or even seriously suspect he's dealing or stealing. But there's been little things, like fast food wrappers in the trash when he has no money - he says the other kid treated him - we have no way to know what he gets up to when he goes to "hang out" with this other guy. It worries me. [/QUOTE]
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