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That sinking feeling...
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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 633348" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Me too. :<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite12" alt="o_O" title="Er... what? o_O" loading="lazy" data-shortname="o_O" />:</p><p></p><p>I guess not angry isn't accurate. I am, but I suppose my anger is overridden by the disappointment. I've been angry for so long about so many things that I don't think I really have it in me anymore. It doesn't do any good to be angry. It doesn't change anything. It makes me sick and tense and I just don't want to feel that anymore. </p><p></p><p>Not just kicking him out comes from a few places.</p><p></p><p>1) He's only 19. I still have hope that he'll get a job, straighten up, find new (better) friends. I'm not to the place where I'm ready to say, "This is it." There is a line for him to cross and he hasn't yet. </p><p></p><p>2) We put him out and then what? He has no job, no car, no money, no family except us within 100 miles. There is one homeless shelter in this town. I think it has 20 beds. Maybe he'd go there, but more likely he'll end up couch surfing and the only people he knows who will let him do that are more likely to get him in real trouble. Holding out for #1 to happen seems preferable at this time.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know. God, how well I know. The only thing I said to him about that today was, "I just really wish you'd quit." His response was, "I just want to feel happy sometimes." It scares me that he doesn't think he can feel happy without some substance. I've been so worried about this for so long. I've offered counseling, he rejects it. I know I can't make him go...we did that last summer. All he did was lie to the counselor. If he doesn't want help it won't do any good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 633348, member: 17309"] Me too. :O_o: I guess not angry isn't accurate. I am, but I suppose my anger is overridden by the disappointment. I've been angry for so long about so many things that I don't think I really have it in me anymore. It doesn't do any good to be angry. It doesn't change anything. It makes me sick and tense and I just don't want to feel that anymore. Not just kicking him out comes from a few places. 1) He's only 19. I still have hope that he'll get a job, straighten up, find new (better) friends. I'm not to the place where I'm ready to say, "This is it." There is a line for him to cross and he hasn't yet. 2) We put him out and then what? He has no job, no car, no money, no family except us within 100 miles. There is one homeless shelter in this town. I think it has 20 beds. Maybe he'd go there, but more likely he'll end up couch surfing and the only people he knows who will let him do that are more likely to get him in real trouble. Holding out for #1 to happen seems preferable at this time. I know. God, how well I know. The only thing I said to him about that today was, "I just really wish you'd quit." His response was, "I just want to feel happy sometimes." It scares me that he doesn't think he can feel happy without some substance. I've been so worried about this for so long. I've offered counseling, he rejects it. I know I can't make him go...we did that last summer. All he did was lie to the counselor. If he doesn't want help it won't do any good. [/QUOTE]
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That sinking feeling...
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