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That sinking feeling...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 634043" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>I am praying for you and for difficult child right now. </p><p></p><p>Lil, you did something really good in helping your new friend from church. Stay in that for a moment. You shared some information you had, she took it and ran with it, and something good happened for her. </p><p></p><p>That is how most interactions with healthy people work. We help each other. Things happen. Everybody smiles.</p><p></p><p>But not with our difficult children. Don't expect the same thing to happen with your difficult child---through your help and advice---that happened with your new friend. </p><p></p><p>It's a whole different thing.</p><p></p><p>You may never know what in the world is different when he goes there---to that factory---compared with what happens when your new friend went there.</p><p></p><p>But he is responsible for it, not you. In fact, Lil, you don't even need to know</p><p></p><p>Breathe into this situation today. Try your best to say nothing. Try your best to focus on your own life and responsibilities, and stay out of the way so he has a chance to focus on his. If you choose to answer the phone after the time of his interview, go ahead and do it. You would love to hear some good news, and perhaps there will be some good news. </p><p></p><p>If there is not, or there is uncertainty, say this: Well, I'm sure you did your best. Let's hope for the best. There is always tomorrow. I have to go work now. See you at home later. I love you. </p><p></p><p>Don't get yourself upset at work. Fake it til you make it. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. I know you are anxious and want the very best for your son. There is just as great a chance than something good will happen as something bad. </p><p></p><p>People do what they want to do. People make choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 634043, member: 17542"] I am praying for you and for difficult child right now. Lil, you did something really good in helping your new friend from church. Stay in that for a moment. You shared some information you had, she took it and ran with it, and something good happened for her. That is how most interactions with healthy people work. We help each other. Things happen. Everybody smiles. But not with our difficult children. Don't expect the same thing to happen with your difficult child---through your help and advice---that happened with your new friend. It's a whole different thing. You may never know what in the world is different when he goes there---to that factory---compared with what happens when your new friend went there. But he is responsible for it, not you. In fact, Lil, you don't even need to know Breathe into this situation today. Try your best to say nothing. Try your best to focus on your own life and responsibilities, and stay out of the way so he has a chance to focus on his. If you choose to answer the phone after the time of his interview, go ahead and do it. You would love to hear some good news, and perhaps there will be some good news. If there is not, or there is uncertainty, say this: Well, I'm sure you did your best. Let's hope for the best. There is always tomorrow. I have to go work now. See you at home later. I love you. Don't get yourself upset at work. Fake it til you make it. Warm hugs. I know you are anxious and want the very best for your son. There is just as great a chance than something good will happen as something bad. People do what they want to do. People make choices. [/QUOTE]
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