That uneasy feeling when you just know things are about to go shout...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by SuZir, Jan 9, 2014.

  1. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    And there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it. I'm sure you all know that one. One thing to hate in being a parent of an adult difficult child.

    Of course you never know just how shout things are going to go, nor if they can miraculously make a turn just on the brink. You just know that brink is there and they are headed to that.

    We visited difficult child last weekend. When we last saw him couple months ago, he was very argumentative and obnoxious both to us and also in his own environment. Things changed, he got sold and apparently has done okayish behaviour wise since then.

    Sports, as expected, very little playing time but he feels good about how he has done considering the competitive level (over his head at this point.) The guy whose injury made the team buy difficult child for short term depth, has recovered as expected, so difficult child is looking the new team before the end of this month. He has one okayish back up option and some early talks about next season with very interesting options. So sport wise he is in good enough place.

    It's his mental state that makes me worried. He wasn't as obnoxious any more and we survived the weekend with only few ruffled feathers. But he sounded jaded and callous, bone tired and not invested with anything. Very, very "whatever, couldn't care less." No sparkle. Only thing that he seemed even little enthusiastic about was the actual sport and training (not so much how his team is doing or anything, but training with this renowned coach the team has.)

    He claims he is sleeping okayish, again more nightmares, but other than that he says he does get enough quality sleep. Dissociation symptoms are getting worse according to him and he finds it difficult to enjoy about anything outside the field. He should be enjoying himself. He is close to very fascinating, big city, with lots to do, he has more money to spend than ever before but according him nothing really feels anything and everything is same old s***. He hasn't taken care of his appearance lately. Yes, he is clean, he wore clean clothes, had likely combed his hair after last shower and brushes his teeth, but all the things aside of those basic grooming are gone. No nice hair cut or actually fixing his hair, no trendy clothes, no looking mirror before leaving the flat and so on.

    Those are not good signs and while he seems to be doing fine enough just now, I can't help but fear that things are about to deteriorate in near future.

    We did try to convince him that he has to stop by at home after this gig and before the next one even if the next one ends up to be in same area he currently is. He should have his next psychiatrist appointment in the end of the month and I really, really want him to keep that.
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2015
  2. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    It may just be a phase. I know my youngest goes through those. On the other hand when my depression is kicking in big time I tend to exhibit those same symptoms. Hopefully his psychiatrist can help him out.
  3. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I hope it is a phase, and in some part ex-girlfriend influence rubbing off (she was the one who taught him to take care of his appearance more constantly), but I can't help but fear he is getting depressed. And I hope he ends up to more stable situation career wise very soon and can, and does, go back to therapy. But till he knows he will stay at any given city more than couple months, and is in country he can find a specialist therapist he has a common language with, it will not happen.

    I don't have much hope for psychiatrist being able to help much right now, even though I do find it paramount he keeps a appointment. Current medications do seem to help some key problems he has had and that of course is a good news. But if the psychiatrist would suggest any medication change to deal with current issues, I doubt difficult child would agree. Of course depending on where he ends up after this gig, but he still feels the burn from those lost pounds because of Zoloft trial and is very wary of trying anything that could affect his performance during the season.
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2015
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    sending good thoughts your way