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Family of Origin
That "why." Do we ever really know? Why does it matter?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 673297" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>No I think it is about seeing them for who they are. We have been perfect, which is better than good enough, all our lives. Perfect is forever unattainable, and was the only way for us to deal with the anxiety of the grandiosity addict abuser. "I wasn't done, yet. I can do more, can do better, can smile while I do it and with never a hair out of place, I will dance faster." </p><p></p><p>I will take your abuse, will take everything you dish out and raise you one, making of it something palatable. </p><p></p><p>The trick in perfectionism is that we never attain it.</p><p></p><p>It is how we deal with anxiety.</p><p></p><p>That is where the fifteen minute timer comes in.</p><p></p><p>***</p><p></p><p>Toss them out, those wicked, stupidly grandiosity addicted abusers. Maybe, like our children must do too, they will hit bottom and change.</p><p></p><p>This is at the heart of our dissatisfaction with our physical appearances, especially as we age. Is this process more difficult for us (as everything else has been, too) than it is for the general population. Artifact of abuse reality would say the answer there is yes, a thousandfold.</p><p></p><p>It would be interesting to learn what part this childhood dynamic plays in addiction to plastic surgery. I wonder how that works, when we feel we are never done until we are grotesquely twisted versions of the selves we are meant to be.</p><p></p><p>Where was I going with this.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 673297, member: 17461"] No I think it is about seeing them for who they are. We have been perfect, which is better than good enough, all our lives. Perfect is forever unattainable, and was the only way for us to deal with the anxiety of the grandiosity addict abuser. "I wasn't done, yet. I can do more, can do better, can smile while I do it and with never a hair out of place, I will dance faster." I will take your abuse, will take everything you dish out and raise you one, making of it something palatable. The trick in perfectionism is that we never attain it. It is how we deal with anxiety. That is where the fifteen minute timer comes in. *** Toss them out, those wicked, stupidly grandiosity addicted abusers. Maybe, like our children must do too, they will hit bottom and change. This is at the heart of our dissatisfaction with our physical appearances, especially as we age. Is this process more difficult for us (as everything else has been, too) than it is for the general population. Artifact of abuse reality would say the answer there is yes, a thousandfold. It would be interesting to learn what part this childhood dynamic plays in addiction to plastic surgery. I wonder how that works, when we feel we are never done until we are grotesquely twisted versions of the selves we are meant to be. Where was I going with this. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin
That "why." Do we ever really know? Why does it matter?
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