The Aerodynamics of the Yellow Pages...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Mar 1, 2009.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    are somewhat challenged, I've found, when hurling through the air at the velocity required to travel from one end of my livingroom to the other in an effort to quell the rising rage which was predominantly the consequence of forgetting to take my medications the evening prior, and witnessing a weekend of difficult child-generated slop and general mess and mayhem from one end of my house to the other with no soul in sight to take responsibility nor ownership nor initiative to help in calming the resulting chaos. Because they were all outside having too much fun to be bothered, and difficult child 2 couldn't find his uniform shorts for his game we needed to leave for in 10 minutes.

    Ahhh, but I'm much better now. Three cheers for the pharmacist! :laugh:
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh's only the Yellow Pages. Sorry you had such a frustrating weekend. I think I could have done that, too. Especially with our new ones- I can't figure out how to look up a medication specialist in them. LOL!
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    There's a pill to take care of a mess???
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yes, but only if it's in your head!
  5. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Dang straight Skippy - I'm in line....I think it's called Dangitol...there are derivitives - F'itol and D!mnitol - but for general housekeeping slop I recommend Dangitol. I think they are trying to come out with a Generic - it's called - nope can't post that here.

    Visualizing the phone book flying like a paper airplane - lol....snort.....nice one. Think of the recycling places you could get these from for stress.....
  6. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Star-That is so funny! There may not be an actual pill, but I find wine wine does wonders! Is it bad that I'm having a glass at 10:30am? -Alyssa
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'm thinking of asking for a NEW event to be added to the Track & Field program of the Olympics (or maybe just Special Olympics). Eighteen feet is pretty respectible, doncha think? If it weren't for the dang wall, who KNOWS what kind of record could have been set?!

    Like I said to TM, the mess was worse in my head yesterday. husband thought it was kinda funny when I told him about it (no one was around to witness my little hissy fit) -- scary, but funny. Makes him feel less of a freak, I guess.

    Today IS another day!
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I used to throw Discus and shot put in HS track -

    I'm with ya - would have had a TON more fun spinning around and tossing the Yellowpages....

    18' is the NEW CD BOARD RECORD - and you hold the title - lol. (gives gold - er YELLOW medal)

  9. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I'll wear it with pride, Star! :bigsmile:
  10. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    If it's one of the really thick ones.....throw it spine first. Otherwise, a kind of frisbie fling works pretty good too.

    Not that I would know or anything.
  11. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!


    If I remember right (you'll forgive me if the glowing neon red in my eyes distorted my vision somewhat), I used the traditional two-handed side hurl. Felt good! I might just start practicing in the yard -- more room and fewer obstacles (if you don't count the chickens)... Hmmm... Yellow Pages Skeet... PULL! (Lets loose poultry...)
  12. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    You know... you could probably use a broom to move the book across wood or tile floors like in curling. I think that also may be an Olympic sport.
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Curling? Not nearly violent enough for the level of catharsis needed. Now if we could use hockey sticks... and no pads...
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Is there a yell that you must utter when tossing a phone book?
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    For the experience to be truly fulfilling, a low, deep guttural expression is best. Monosyllabic is fine, intelligible or not, profane or not -- each individual is unique in what suits their particular style, moment of release, je ne sais quoi...
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oooooooooh, yeah.
    Forget the Yellow Pages. Go for a bag of rock-hard frozen broccoli. ;)
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh now you are talking my language Terry!

    I havent thrown anything like the yellowpages, I dont tend to keep them around. I tend to throw:ketchup bottles, plates of food, full dish strainers out windows, and my most famous - entirely decorated Christmas trees out the front door!
  18. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Well, the big yellow book was just handy, I guess!

    That'll teach me to skip my medications when I've got my period...
  19. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Can you believe husband thought he was just dealing with someone who had "difficult" PMS most of the month before I got diagnosed? LMAO
  20. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Well, it's a good thing you don't live here! Our entire phone book, white and yellow pages, is only about a quarter of an inch thick! It wouldn't make much of an impact. It would be like trying to throw a potato chip!

    I recommend a brick. They're cheap - and reusable! Or a couple of D-cell batteries in a tube sock makes a REALLY big impact, especially if you swing it around a few times before letting it fly! Just one of the interesting little hints you pick up after working in a close security prison for 23 years!