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Parent Emeritus
the ball is in his court??
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 720355" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>This sums it up in a nutshell.</p><p>Our difficult adult children want to have their independence and be completely void of any responsibility. They enjoy living their care free lifestyle and for many that involves drinking and drugging and yet when something happens to them as a direct cause of their poor choices, they reach out to us the parents and expect us to "fix" everything.</p><p>Many of these difficult adult children have expressed to us, their parents how much they dislike us or even hate us. How they are better off without us. How living their life without us will be so much better, etc....... and yet, here they are, reaching out to us with their "apologies" and "promises".</p><p>Our difficult adult children break our hearts over and over again. They have no regard for the pain they have caused us until of course they "need" something and they tell us how sorry they are, how they will change, blah, blah, blah....... I would like to think on some level they truly are sorry but as time goes on they slip back into their poor choices.</p><p>For me, it took some time to finally make the decision that I was no longer going to buy into the lies and false promises. </p><p>As you know my son is doing 2 years in prison for assault. In one the letters he sent me he said "I don't know what I'm going to do when I get out, I'll be homeless" I was quick to recognize this as a manipulation tactic. Seriously!! my son was homeless when he got arrested so why would it be different when he gets out of prison. He is hoping that he can pull those mommy heart strings. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I worry about him but he IS NOT MY PROBLEM anymore.</p><p>Yes, they want their carefree, independence without responsibility.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 720355, member: 18516"] This sums it up in a nutshell. Our difficult adult children want to have their independence and be completely void of any responsibility. They enjoy living their care free lifestyle and for many that involves drinking and drugging and yet when something happens to them as a direct cause of their poor choices, they reach out to us the parents and expect us to "fix" everything. Many of these difficult adult children have expressed to us, their parents how much they dislike us or even hate us. How they are better off without us. How living their life without us will be so much better, etc....... and yet, here they are, reaching out to us with their "apologies" and "promises". Our difficult adult children break our hearts over and over again. They have no regard for the pain they have caused us until of course they "need" something and they tell us how sorry they are, how they will change, blah, blah, blah....... I would like to think on some level they truly are sorry but as time goes on they slip back into their poor choices. For me, it took some time to finally make the decision that I was no longer going to buy into the lies and false promises. As you know my son is doing 2 years in prison for assault. In one the letters he sent me he said "I don't know what I'm going to do when I get out, I'll be homeless" I was quick to recognize this as a manipulation tactic. Seriously!! my son was homeless when he got arrested so why would it be different when he gets out of prison. He is hoping that he can pull those mommy heart strings. Don't get me wrong, I love my son and I worry about him but he IS NOT MY PROBLEM anymore. Yes, they want their carefree, independence without responsibility. [/QUOTE]
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the ball is in his court??
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