I thought I'd start a new thread since the title of my old one isn't accurate. I have made an appointment for me with difficult child's former therapist. Next Tuesday can't come fast enough - things here seem to be unraveling daily. I love my husband, but someone needs to bonk him with a clue-by-4. This is going to take a lot of work to get through. I know that I haven't been my best for the last few years - I've been very depressed, I've gained weight, my housekeeping has slacked. I get that, and I'm working on it. He however apparently sees nothing wrong with how he lives his life, even though he's an alcoholic, and EVERYONE who knows us knows how disengaged he's been as a parent. He's not a bad person, but he definitely has issues. He most certainly does NOT have all his **** together, as he claims. Yesterday he showed up drunk at my sister in law's house (he hadn't been driving, thank goodness) and started in on her, in her house with her children present, about how she's trying to "take his daughter away." This is AFTER he sought solace in his best friend, who is also well aware of the dynamics of our household and who I can't imagine would blow smoke up husband's ass, but this friend also thinks that sister in law is loony, and I can see him thinking it's not a good place for difficult child to be. Anyway, sister in law took husband outside away from the kids and went OFF on him, saying that this was most certainly not something she sees as a project, that she doesn't really WANT to take difficult child in, but she is doing it because she loves us, knows she can help, and wants to help. She said that if he wanted, she would go pack up difficult child's stuff right now and send her back home. He let difficult child stay. Yes, husband can't even manage to take a day to spend with his daughter without drinking. And not just a couple of beers - he had to call a friend to give them a ride to sister in law's, and him a ride home. But he has all his **** together. Right. I know I'm not perfect, far from it. I need to lose weight, I need to get in better housekeeping habits, I need to tame my cursing. But darnit, I'm AWARE of all these things, I acknowledge them, and I'm using this time when I don't have to deal with difficult child to work on these things. In the meantime, my marriage is now blowing up in my face, and I find out that my husband is such a good actor that he just has been pretending that all is fine for the past few years (I guess I have been too, to some extent). Ugh.